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Above: Ummm... Phantasy Star?
But how about instead of milking consumers who’ve forgotten to cancel their subscriptions, what if Sega went for the ethical buck and made us the 16-bit sequel that’s over a decade late? If you’re going to play the Keeping-up-with-the-SquEnix’s game, Sega’s got to give gamers a little bit of old school loveage in addition to every pseudo-sequel and semi-follow up. In other words: Make an actual RPG!
There are more than a few of us who’d rather play through an epic RPG storyline than toil through futuristic drudgery while shouting directions at online imbeciles we can’t get through the game without. Not that you need to ignore group participation entirely. Who’s to say that team-up Macros from IV couldn’t be carried out by another person through a dollop of online co-op? Probably you, ‘cause it’s damn sure not us.
What we want:
To make up for:
Blaster Master 2 - 60% (GameRankings)
Blaster Master: Blasting Again 74% (GameRankings)
By far one of the most treasured titles from the glory days of the NES. Roving tank whoopin’s, futuristic guns, “dungeon” crawling, massive bosses - the original Blaster Master seemingly had it all. Then lost a little of “it” with its Genesis sequel, and abandoned “it” all together with the PSX’s Blaster Master: Blasting Again.
Above: The PS remake can be yours, starting at an asking price of 20 cents
C’mon, Jason Frudnick! For old time sake: Follow that frog into cave, hop in SOFIA and give us an overworld to tool around in, and at least eight levels top-down too futuristic to be called “dungeons.” And as long as we’re using Mega Man 9 as a template, we demand you leave in at least one instance of the “Pause to Kill” glitch that lets a grenade detonate continuously in the face of certain bosses when the game is paused, (for massive damage, natch) making it one of the best, and unsportsmanlike, cheats of all time.
Above: Dun-Dudda-Dudda-Dudda...
What we want: Defender 3
To make up for:
Defender (2002) - 69
Defender (XBLA) - 58
Above: You had your chance
You could argue that Defender’s already had its shot at contemporary relevance, to no avail. The 2002 update was like a sharp, 3-D stick in the eye for classic gamers, and the faithful XBLA port left critics saying “That’ll do, pig.” However, as much as those updates failed to reignite the flames of passion, a super-simple, balls-to-the-barbeque sequel could be just what the dentist ordered.
Here’s our pitch: Vomit as many candy-colored pixels onto screen as our HD signal will allow. Keep the rainbow laser alone, but feel free to add in more weapons. Throw in some smarter, possibly gender specific, refugees and most importantly, ease gamers into the notoriously steep difficulty. After all, your target audience is so old now they’re practically arthritic. Then make a check out to “GamesRadar: The Official Website of the Internet” and you’re welcome!
