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Ben Richards - The Running Man
The narcissistic Killian explodes upon impact with his own Cola ad. “Well that hit the spot!”
Perfectly timed irony and delivered when Arnold Schwarzenegger still had a thick enough Austrian accent make this a snort out loud witticism.[page-break]
Colonel Jack O'Neil - Stargate
Average film, enjoyably historical put-down. Kurt Russell’s just in time to beam a nuke aboard Egyptian-alien villain Ra’s fleeing spaceship. “Give my regards to King Tut, asshole”, he hisses as the henchman is beamed aboard holding the ticking bomb.[page-break]
Officer Jack Traven - Speed
Dennis Hopper insists he’s “smarter” than Keanu, strangling him atop a subway train. Too smart to notice the light about to rip his head off? It’s a shock moment, pitched before Reeves’ perfectly timed, “Yeah? Well I’m taller!” gains a big laugh.[page-break]
Ivan Drago - Rocky IV
Dolph Lundgren’s sign-off to Apollo Creed is calculated, clinical and as cold as Drago’s native Russia. Delivered in a completely emotionless monotone, he couldn’t care less that Creed is fading fast. “If he dies, he dies”. He died.[page-break]
D-Fens - Falling Down
Michael Douglas pours on the bitterness in Joel Schumacher’s exceptional man-meltdown movie. A random golfer suffers a heart attack he’s induced. “Bad news… you’re gonna die. Wearing that stupid hat. How does it feel?” Uncomfortably amusing.[page-break]
Marcus Brody - Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade
Denholm Elliot mirrors general opinion when he’s offered some water in the dessert by the slimy, doublecrossing Nazi Walter Donovan. He states – deadly deadpan – “I’d rather spit in your face”. It’s refreshingly rude and satisfying.[page-break]
Steven Seagal - Above The Law
Amusingly occurs after Steven Seagal’s ludicrous decision to blow a gang member’s brains out, in cold blood, because he points out Seagal can’t beat the entire group. “You’re right, but I’ll get an ‘A’ for effort”. Well that’s OK then Steve.[page-break]
Blade - Blade
Refreshingly metaphorical for a comic-book hero, Wesley Snipes’ line still clicks as he vanquishes a vampire-demigod to its own mortality. Oozing cool he quips, “Some motherfuckers always trying to ice-skate uphill”, before sheltering from exploding guts.[page-break]
Gordie Lachance - Stand By Me
Told to put down his gun by Castle Rock hardnut Kiefer Sutherland, Wil Wheaton’s toothpick-thin hero looks the older boy in the eye and says, “Suck... My... Fat One, you cheap, dime-store hood.” kid’s got big balls, too.[page-break]
Chief Brody - Jaws
After weeks of anguish and a shark-hunting trip from watery hell, Roy Scheider must release himself – and the audience – from the fear.
He’s got one shot at the explosive air tank which has been thrown into the shark’s mouth. He can’t miss… “Smile, you son of a bitch!” Boom.
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