EA announced it would be entering into the world of mixed martial arts at E3 this year by showing off an MMA logo and little else. It was enough, however, to have fans wondering how the hell EA could pull off a MMA game in the face of UFC, which has a stranglehold on the world's most recognisable fighters and a sucessful game license already being looked after by THQ.

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E3 2009 is alive and kicking, and T-Dar is bringing you the first of many updates from the show floor. Up first is a look at Batman: Arkham Asylum, Just Cause 2, Aliens vs Predator, Microsoft’s Natal motion tech, the big three press conferences and oh so much more. ...

I’m not a miserable sexist ass; I’m just a practical observer. One thing I’ve observed is that men and women are different (I figured that one out pretty early on). Since I’m a rational person, I’m aware that nothing is entirely one way or another. Even the divide between life and death is ambiguous (uh, zombies, amirite?). ...

Over the years we've enjoyed steering some of the animal kingdom's most awesome specimens through some pretty awesome games. Banjo the bear. Donkey Kong the ape. Amaterasu the wolf. We've loved them all. But it's not always nature's most magnificent beasts that game makers deem suitable for the role of hero. Some creatures that have made the jump from wildlife to virtual life are little more than food chain filler. And this is those pathetic ...

Cutscene after cutscene, they exhibit planet-shaking combat abilities and a level of indestructibility which would make God himself jealous. But as soon as you pick up the controller? The Incredible Hulk turns back into Bruce Banner and all of those showboating tricks and superhuman powers disappear into the ether.

Just why do game characters save their best tricks until we've already done all the hard work for them? Here are the worst offenders. ...

In the context of a game, Achievements and Trophies are harmless. They're just carrot-dangling tactics that we're happy to indulge for our greedy pursuit of intangible virtual rewards. We wouldn't think twice about nail-bombing a kitten orphanage if it meant five more gamer points.

But, let's say, purely for the purposes of this here article, that we take Achievements and Trophies out of their virtual world settings and reconsider them ...

Quote of the week: "I watched this dog, for two minutes, take a dump on its own balls" ...

When it comes to comedy, no other medium is quite as hit-or-miss as videogames. It’s rare to see a game that’s genuinely funny (on purpose, at least), and most of the games that try range from passably entertaining to insultingly awful. Chalk it up to games and humor being subjective art forms, one man’s culture being another man’s trash, et cetera. ...