What if Niko Bellic was in Mario Kart?

So what would happen if amoral Balkan sociopath Niko Bellic was in everyone's favourite cute and cuddly cartoon racer? Would Mario and chums accept him into the line-up with grace and humility? Would Niko keep the lid on all his murderous rage when Yoshi was firing red shells up his tailpipe? Of course, not. This is what would happen if the worlds of Liberty City and the Mushroom Kingdom clashed...

And that got us thinking. What if more of our most beloved characters jumped the shark and tried different types of games? Have you ever wondered how the famously tight-lipped Gordon Freeman would get on in the chin-wagging-athon that is Mass Effect? Or pondered on what would happen if Leisure Suit Larry bumped into a Left 4 Dead witch? Well ponder no more, because we've put some of your favourite games into a big game-melding blender and come up with the following mash-ups.

Marcus Fenix in Cooking Mama

The space marine with a neck thicker than a Redwood has sawed countless pesky aliens in half with that Lancer of his. But, personally, we think it's high time he put his slicing and dicing skills to better, more culinary-centric use.

Pokémon in Afrika

Those little Nintendo blighters think they’re pretty tough with their electricity and other elemental-powered attacks, eh? Well, let’s see how they cope when they’re introduced to a little thing we like to call the circle of life… or, in this case, death.

Alex Mercer in Trauma Center

Prototype's puerile antihero can do almost anything with those claws of his. And after gutting most of New York we think it's time he gave something back to society. And what better way to be integrated back into the realms of social acceptability than trying your hand/giant pointy fingers of death at a bit of surgery?

Leisure Suit Larry in Left 4 Dead

Seeing as Lovage is the randiest thing on stubby, sex-starved legs and Left 4 Dead witches are eligible, independent females... kind of, it's pretty much a date made in heaven. Well, until the nasty evisceration part of the night that comes after dessert.

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  • coolpants96 - September 20, 2009 1:36 p.m.

    haha, broom stick
  • FETALJUICE - September 20, 2009 1:27 a.m.

    Marcus Fenix cooking and the guy from Prototype in the hospital made LOL
  • jackthemenace - September 19, 2009 6:06 p.m.

    omg i loved the marcus fenix and alex mercer bits.
  • CORNHOL0 - September 17, 2009 11:45 p.m.

    "Then I found out she was a stripper, and I told her to SUCK ON MY BOOMSTICK! BLARGH!
  • jar-head - September 17, 2009 noon

    lmao! Banging Zombies, Riding up on Duke's "100 kiloton Nuke" Dead Safari Pokemon! GR kicks ALL Ass! Great Work Dave
  • Rhesus - September 16, 2009 11:46 p.m.

    HaaaaaaHHHHHHAAAAAAHHAAAAAAaAaaAAaa Clever stuff reCAPTCHA: 10 corona, nah I'll just have one thanks.
  • TheNinja - September 16, 2009 11:15 p.m.

    poor freeman
  • TreeWhale - September 16, 2009 10:41 p.m.

    If these games were made like that, the developers would be trillion ares. Look I am a Whale
  • Cyberninja - September 16, 2009 7:45 p.m.

    if sonic keeps getting worse than i want him in burnout
  • Hurricrane - September 16, 2009 4:22 p.m.

    that pic of Marcus Mama is a brilliant combo of creepy and hysterical
  • EmmaXII - September 16, 2009 4:19 p.m.

    Awesome article! I loved the kh one XD Nd th mass effect/half life XD And Yorda "Can't we jst hold hands?"
  • Conman93 - September 16, 2009 3:16 p.m.

    My favourite was the sonic and kingdom hearts one. Kingdom hearts would be like GTA with goofy if Duke joined
  • dweller - September 16, 2009 1:58 p.m.

    That's some good mash ups. I definitely didn't see the Prototype + Trauma Center coming.
  • Terro - September 16, 2009 1:55 p.m.

    What if Final Fantasy somehow merged with Disney and- Oh... It was a ludicrous, but awesome combo though.
  • kc2 - September 16, 2009 12:35 p.m.

    C-C-C COMBO BREAKER........ Lol " I acciedently botched your husbands surgery and cut out his spleen
  • noobeater - September 16, 2009 12:27 p.m.

    ye ye 2nd wats it to ya awesome article left 4 dead would be hilarious
  • allthegoodnameswheretaken - September 16, 2009 12:10 p.m.

    Stoic Silence. First !!!!!!!!!!
  • Spybreak8 - September 18, 2009 3:13 a.m.

    This was an office banter wasn't it!? ^^
  • waffledragon33 - September 17, 2009 11:13 p.m.

  • CH3BURASHKA - September 17, 2009 3:39 a.m.

    I lol'd at the Mass Effect/HL mash up. Also, props for getting Yorda in there. I'm thinking about playing Ico again, seeing as how I've been listening to the soundtrack nonstop for the past couple months.