Top 20 most awkward middle-stage Pokemon

Pity the teenager

It isn't just humans who experience that tumultuous, teenage period of growth, angst and self-discovery. Certain Pokemon go through this transition as well. Look at any three-stage Pokemon - meaning one that has three evolutions - and you will see a pretty clear child to teenager to adult progression happening. The child stages are typically cute with their big eyes and chubby little bodies, while the adult stages look strong and powerful. Then there are the teenage stages, those awkward middle years.

Some Pokemon - such as the too-cool-for-school Wartortle - sail through this stage with style and class. Others well let's just say they're bit messier. Here are my top 20 picks for the most awkward middle-stage Pokemon, ranked in order of personal awkwardness. Never fear, however, as each entrant is destined for greater things in about 15 levels or so.

#20 - Metapod

Most Awkward Aspect: Metapod's confusing face. I always saw it as a sad, weary face with droopy eyes. However, other people flip it around and see an angry face with a big nose. I guess we'll never know how Metapod is really feeling. My guess: bored.

#19 - Lombre

Most Awkward Aspect: Lombre's weird growth spurt. You can just tell that poor Lombre hasn't quite grown into its body yet. It's all tall and lanky and its sad eyes just ooze teenage emotion. Little does it know of the party life that awaits it after its next evolution.

#18 - Whirlipede

Most Awkward Aspect: Whirlpede's inset, sideways eyes. This poor pokemon must have a rough time getting around seeing as how it can't see straight ahead. It's probably always crashing into trees and rocks and other Whirlipedes, sort of like how I learned to drive.

#17 - Loudred

Most Awkward Aspect: Loudred's giant, gaping mouth. Loudred seems like the sort of pokemon who would always want to be on mic when playing Rock Band, and just sing in whatever the hell key it felt like. All power, but without the finesse of experience.

#16 - Quilava

Most Awkward Aspect: Quilava's fiery backside. This unremarkable Pokemon is simply trying too hard to get noticed. It basically looks like a ferret has lit itself on fire. You don't have to do this, Quilava. Trainers will like you for who you are.

#15 - Shelgon

Most Awkward Aspect: Shelgon's shell. This Pokemon won't get anywhere in life until it learns to break out of that hard exterior. And by 'get anywhere' I of course mean 'transform into a giant freaking dragon'.

#14 - Vanillish

Most Awkward Aspect: Vanillish's resemblance to an ice cream cone. This in and of itself isn't all that bad. However, it does create some very awkward moments when your friend scarfs down a tasty frozen treat only to realize it was YOUR NEW POKEMON YOU MONSTER!!

#13 - Golbat

Most Awkward Aspect: Golbat's giant, gaping mouth. Do you have any idea how many dead bugs and leaves and who-knows-what-else must be caked up inside there? I know bats eat bugs so that's not so bad, but it should really know to close its mouth while eating.

#12 - Gurdurr

Most Awkward Aspect: Gurdurr's bulging blood vessels. Do you think if you put your hand up to one you could feel it move? Can you see it pulsating when Gurdurr lifts that heavy girder? And why pink? That's an interesting complement to its completely grey body.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Maxwell grew up on a sleepy creekbank deep in the South. His love for video games has taken him all the way to the West Coast and beyond.
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