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The Top 7… extreme game character makeovers

Facelifts and other forms of cosmetic surgery aren’t just for aging MILFs, dried-up Hollywood C-listers and 40 stone blobs who have to get forklifted out of their beds. No, sometimes our favourite game stars need a bit of a nip and tuck too. After all, there’s no point battling hordes of the undead or saving the planet from a cult of religious alien zealots if you’re sporting last season’s armour or an out of date ‘do. In the spirit of self improvement, the following image-conscious characters all went under the digital scalpel for radical and flirty design changes in the hope of catching fickle gamers’ eyes.

7. Master Chief


Getting nipped and tucked between: Halo and Halo 2

Before…

When Spartan 117 hit the Xbox scene in late 2001 he debuted with a reasonably fetching, if rather bland ensemble. While his spacesuit might have given him sturdy protection against plasma grenades, it wasn’t that eye-catching. Observing his old get up now, he looks more like a common ODST than the monosyllabic saviour of humanity.

After…



Ahhhh, much better. Now this is what a space dude who spends all his time offing alien evil should look like. A bolder choice of metal plating really lets the sun glint off his heroic, genetically-engineered pectorals. And the reinforced crotch plating positively screams ‘ET exterminator by profession, tender lover by nature’.

Oprah! Make Over My Man!


Above: We’ve not seen her show in a while, but Oprah still speaks with a Cockney accent, right?


6. Prince of Persia


Getting nipped and tucked between: Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time and Prince of Persia: Warrior Within

Before…

This Arabian Hugh Grant wannabe might be a bit of a bumbling fop… but he was our bumbling fop <sniff>. A gentle action hero, the Prince and his game Sands of Time were perhaps too pure and polite to survive in the cutthroat, testosterone-twisted gaming market of 2003. Still, the Aladdin–esque baggy trousers and circa 1998 curtains hairstyle affirmed that this guy was the unthreatening sort you’d love to take home to your doting old mum…

After…



Until he told her where to f**king go, that is. Redesigned for angry, sun-deprived teens just a year after Sands of Time, Warrior Within’s rekitted royal asshole is an absolute douche. Physically, he’s not changed that much. A bit of moody stubble here, some emo eyeliner there… oh, and the complete absence of a soul. Thank God Ubisoft saw the error of its ways and gave us a hugely likeable current-gen Prince who definitely wasn’t a jock jerk. Yeah, bullet dodged on that one.

Oprah! Make Over My Man!

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58 comments

  • may.be.vital - January 18, 2010 5:15 p.m.

    I always remember wondering what happened to Master Chief between Halo 1 and 2....
  • Harmonator - January 18, 2010 5:36 p.m.

    Sure am glad I never played Bomberman Act Zero...
  • CreeplyTuna - January 18, 2010 5:45 p.m.

    George W. should do stand up comedy...that just occured to me when i saw him on the bomberman ics
  • Xplosive59 - January 18, 2010 5:46 p.m.

    when a game gomes emo you know they will suck, such as in the case of bm act zero and prince of persia
  • OnyxOblivion - January 18, 2010 5:47 p.m.

    Where DID Oprah get this accent? Also, really shocked at #1. Wasn't expecting that.
  • Jacob816 - January 18, 2010 6:07 p.m.

    The Oprah bits are a very nice touch.
  • number1hitjam - January 18, 2010 6:19 p.m.

    Master Cheif looked like a boss. Now he looks weird.
  • OmNomRomRearghNergh - January 18, 2010 6:27 p.m.

    i had my money on Prince of Persia for #1, what a pleasant surprise. Oprah's cockney vocab is hilarious :)
  • fattoler - January 18, 2010 6:49 p.m.

    cor! Brilliant article mate
  • DRILLERDUD - January 18, 2010 6:55 p.m.

    i never noticed that Eli had a fake leg until the end of episode 2......
  • oufour - January 18, 2010 7:04 p.m.

    how did ratchet not get on this list?
  • Conman93 - January 18, 2010 7:21 p.m.

    No Link. He had at least 3 or 4
  • Metroidhunter32 - January 18, 2010 7:22 p.m.

    Aww. I was hoping to see Samus get a make over in between the first 90% of zero mission and the next 5%. She just lost half her clothes, and actually feels human instead of a badass with a personality. Or you could use the shots of her from MOM versues any of her game end scrrens for zerosuit changes.
  • dante1924 - January 18, 2010 7:24 p.m.

    Bomberman act zero is a giant hell spawn. But at least bomberman is back to the way he was before act zero! Time to celebrate!
  • JackSkellingtonsSkin - January 18, 2010 7:44 p.m.

    Most of these don't seem extreme, just improved graphics.
  • QWERTYCommander - January 18, 2010 7:45 p.m.

    I think I'm scarred for life because of that female Bomberman.
  • inconceivable - January 18, 2010 7:49 p.m.

    Hilarious.
  • Onedown - January 18, 2010 7:57 p.m.

    Oh my god! What did they do to you bomberman?!
  • StrayGator - January 18, 2010 8:11 p.m.

    Joanna "Perfect" Dark (honorable mention?)

Showing 1-20 of 58 comments

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