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The Top 7... Assassins

5. Golgo 13

Golgo 13Last seen in: Golgo-13 Part 3 (Arcade, 2001, Japan-only)  

What's his deal? If Travis Touchdown had a polar opposite, it would be Duke "Golgo 13" Togo. Cold, efficient and always impeccably dressed, Golgo 13 (nicknamed after the 13th hill of Golgotha, on which Jesus was supposedly crucified) is like a cynical James Bond with no gadgets or humor. In spite of his cold-blooded personality, villainous profession and void of a past (his nationality, real name and any other personal details are always listed as "unknown"), he's had enough charisma to star in four live-action and animated films, hundreds of Japanese manga stories and at least seven videogames.

Two of those made it stateside: 1988's Golgo 13: Top Secret Episode and 1990's The Mafat Conspiracy, both for the NES. One was mostly ignored; the other is fondly remembered for reasons wholly unrelated to its gameplay.

Signature weapon: A custom M-16 rifle with attached sniper scope.

Highest-profile hit: Hard to say; Golgo 13 has tackled a lot of high-profile assassinations over his long career, which started 40 years ago in a long-running manga series. As far as the games go, though, we'd probably have to say international terrorist Ahmad Khan, who met his end after being repeatedly kicked in the face during The Mafat Conspiracy.

Why he's awesome: Golgo 13 is an infallible badass with a taste for blood and unerring aim, able to pull off impossible feats of marksmanship and kick his way out of any scrape. And for many gamers who were kids in the '80s, his first game - Top Secret Episode - was an introduction to concepts like a ruthless "hero," first-person sniper sequences and the use of "…." as an acceptable response when someone's talking to you. But if there's anything he's remembered for above all else, it's for bringing the sexy when the sexy needed bringing.

Forget all this foofaraw over Mass Effect and its PG-13 love scene - almost 20 years ago, Top Secret Episode slipped under parents' (and presumably Nintendo's) collective radar with the first real sex scene to grace the NES. Granted, it consisted entirely of two silhouettes in a window moving toward each other, a light going out and Golgo's life meter filling up, but to sheltered grade-school kids it was naughty as all hell.

Oh, and the game itself was pretty good too we guess.

4. Agent 47

Agent 47Last seen in: Hitman: Blood Money (PS2/Xbox/360/PC, 2006)

What's his deal? Cloned in a lab and raised from birth to be the perfect assassin, 47 is a cold, conflicted soul. All of his contracts are passed down to him through a shadowy agency, and despite the obvious moral ambiguity of what he does, he's steadfast in his belief that he's doing the right thing - that, or he just doesn't care. It's hard to tell sometimes. He certainly doesn't seem to enjoy his work as a killer, but relies on it mainly because he's never known anything else. And whatever his reservations, the fact remains that he's fantastically good at it.

Signature weapon: Paired Silverballer .45 pistols.

Highest-profile hit: The Vice President of the United States, who eats it near the end of Blood Money.

Why he's awesome: Agent 47 is everything a successful assassin should be: resourceful, ruthless and - in a best-case scenario - totally undetected, even after he's made the hit. And as a tall, completely bald man with a barcode neck tattoo, staying undetected around suspicious people is no mean feat. But the fun of playing as 47 has always been in setting up the hits themselves; will he put on a disguise to get close to his intended victim? Should he instead lay some elaborate trap that'll spectacularly kill his target while he's far away? Or will he just go in guns blazing like a big stupid bastard? It's up to you, and it's likely to be a lot of fun however you decide to tackle it.

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16 comments

  • martinlindved - February 17, 2010 9:24 p.m.

    where the fuck is Ezio?? gotta admit that agent 47 is a good choice. without him this article would had been a joke. i mean, MEGAMAN?? ............?
  • Vader999 - October 28, 2009 10:12 p.m.

    Honorable mention to Ryu Hayabusa.....my fave DOA char aside from Nicloe and Kasumi.......
  • Vader999 - October 28, 2009 10:08 p.m.

    Sub Zero was indeed a brutal, ass-whoopin son of a bitch.....
  • DARK_SIDE - September 22, 2008 8:27 p.m.

    MEGA MAN! WHAT ARE YOU GUYS INSANE! If he is an assasian then practically every game character that exists could be an assasian.
  • DARK_SIDE - September 22, 2008 8:33 p.m.

    I think they should have inclued some MARVEL comic characters like all time favorite WOLVERINE, I mean the guy was killing before half the heros were born.
  • c1nd3rcell - July 6, 2009 11:26 p.m.

    Altair should be number one!!! (if megaman is an assassin, than North Korea will stop launching missiles at us.)
  • RebornKusabi - January 6, 2009 2:31 a.m.

    Oh and not to attack any specific users here but NO ONE on Naruto was a true ninja... in fact, historically speaking, James Bond and Agent 47 are pretty much "new age" ninja's- the key to being a successful ninja was to remain both hidden and out of the spotlight... wearing black ****ing cloaks and a face mask are not any of those >_> Goddamn Japanophiles!
  • LegendarySandwich - December 30, 2008 4:43 a.m.

    Even though Naruto himself isn't very ninja-like, a lot of the other characters in Naruto are.
  • DARK_SIDE - September 3, 2009 2:04 a.m.

    @MOOMAN haha! cake, so funny p.s. you remind me of Homer Simpson
  • MOOMAN - July 24, 2009 5:12 p.m.

    OK STRIKE THAT ALTAIR SHOULD BE NO.1 HE MY FAVORITE ASSASSIN AND BTW NINJAS SOMETIMES ARE ALSO TRAINED FOR INTENSE WAR-LIKE COMBAT AND ANSWERING QUESTIOND LIKE ASKA-NINJA!!!!!! NINJA GO!
  • MOOMAN - July 24, 2009 5:10 p.m.

    OH SO MEGA MAN IS THE BEST ASSASSIN? WELL THEN YOU OBVIUOSLY HAVE NOT HEARD OF ME. OH AND BTW, SANTA CLAUS IS BEST ASSASSIN HE CAN CRUSH YOU WITH HIS SACK (OF PRESENTS) AND SIT ON YOU TO BREAK YOUR RIBS. OH AND BTW, CAKE IS DELICIOUS. MMM... CAKE...
  • Daniel1995 - March 6, 2009 2:51 p.m.

    AGENT 47 RULES
  • handdestr - January 25, 2009 1:06 a.m.

    why didnt u put any of the dark brotherhood peeps from oblivion. i thought vicenti was a badass.
  • bernie10 - January 7, 2009 9:06 p.m.

    how can altair be six!?
  • -FABLExFAN- - January 6, 2009 10:33 p.m.

    Okay so maybe people on naruto aren't so ninja like, but naruto can make a freaking glowing ball in his hand and when he touches you with it it kills you on contact, and he clones himself. if that's not cool i don't know what is. but you cant call megaman an assassin and naruto not a ninja?, oh and if megaman is an assassin ... that makes me god.
  • RebornKusabi - January 6, 2009 2:21 a.m.

    I agree, Megaman is a hell of an assassin!

Showing 1-16 of 16 comments

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