Game developers are wrong about 90% of everything 83% of the time. I know, because I’m a super-expert on facts. My dad invented facts. So hold on to your sugary carbonated beverage, uncross your legs and take your left hand off your face, because I'm about to drop a straight-up 10-megaton truth bomb on this bitch. All the subjective bullshit and “artistic license” that game designers cower behind is polluting the hard facts, and it's about time someone exposed these fallacies to the world, because technically, they're not correct.
FINAL FANTASY VII
Man, that’s a big-ass sword! How big would you say it is? Our conservative estimate is that Cloud's blade is about 4ft long, 1ft wide on average, and 5in thick on average. That seems fair, doesn’t it? Now, if we assume that his sword is made of steel, or an alloy roughly similar to steel, how much would it weigh? About 650lbs. So Cloud is capable, with his scrawny-ass biceps, to lift and swing the weight of about three people with ease? I think not. The world record for a bench press is 1075lbs, only 425lbs heavier than our estimated weight of Cloud’s sword – and these athletes aren’t swinging their weights around like feather dusters, they’re literally spilling their guts. Technically, that's just not correct.
EVERY GAME WITH BULLETS
Exploding Gas Tanks
Hey game developers, ever watch MythBusters? Bet you don't, because you're too busy stabbing physics books, you science murderers. I'll put this simply: shooting a pressurized gas tank with a regular gun won't do shit. Try a handgun, and you probably won't even puncture the tank. Move up to a rifle and you might puncture it, but the resulting "explosion" will be nothing more than a rapid decompression which will, at best, disorient the enemy. No, if you really want to make a gas tank explode, you need a high-powered weapon with incendiary rounds. So guess what? Technically, the following shit don't come correct:
CALL OF DUTY: WORLD AT WAR
Hey Mr. WWII Game, how about being right about something? Fat chance! While supposedly in 1945, World at War makes reference to the United States "Air Force." Guess what? It wasn't called the Air Force until 1947 - before then it was known as the Army Air Corps., so, yep, you guessed it you history raping bastards: technically, that's not correct.
Above: This is the USAAC, not the Air Force. Hah! More like Call of Duty: LIES of War!
Lasers generally emit a spreading, cone-shaped beam, which is focused into a parallel beam with a lens. If one intended to use a laser as a weapon, it would make sense to direct the energy in a parallel beam - but if fired in space, with nothing to scatter the light, would you see this parallel beam? NO! Technically, the image below is simply not correct.
Above: NOT CORRECT! (Technically)
It doesn't end there. The Orbital Defense Platforms supposedly maintain a geosynchronous orbit over certain cities, which actually means they would cross over their city once a day, not remain over it constantly – uh oh, I think you meant GEOSTATIONARY! Man, that is so technically not correct.