• Andrew Groen - January 15, 2012 2:49 p.m.

    Thanks for the props! And not to worry, High Horse is completely unaffected by this new column.
  • EdDeRs1 - January 15, 2012 4:58 a.m. beat u guys to it MASSIVELY
  • Andrew Groen - January 15, 2012 2:53 p.m.

    Haha You make it sound like we both started at the same time (a race to finish the article) and Cracked obliterated us by several years while we struggled to figure out how a keyboard works. Mad props to Cracked, but nothing they do is going to stop us from writing about things we're interested in and passionate about.
  • BladedFalcon - January 15, 2012 6:57 p.m.

    That, and people that don't read Cracked get to read something of the sort in here instead. I've never understood that "meh, someone else did it first" mentality. If it's an interesting concept and article, it deserves to be written, even if it has been done before, chances are that it will get to be read and spread by more people anyway.
  • Pwnz0r3d - January 14, 2012 9:47 a.m.

    Zombies will never exist. There are way too many issues with the logical aspects of a rotting, walking, biting, moaning abomination whose brain (which is the most complex in the world) was supposed to have decayed along with its body, thus making its very existence a logical impossibility. Coupled with the fact that they have no way of determining living from dead flesh (they're dead, their sense of smell must be impaired right?), the infection will solve itself very quickly. True zombies will never exist, however, living infected who exhibit zombie like qualities due to a highly mutated rabies virus could, in theory, exist. But again, not for that long.
  • CJB95 - January 14, 2012 1:49 a.m.

    the way I see it, since that guy recently just modified the bird flu to be human compatible, I can see someone down the road taking that Zombie ant or that new Zombie bee parasite and modifying it so that humans will be there next targets.
  • Sinosaur - January 14, 2012 8:23 a.m.

    The difference between birds and humans is a lot smaller than the difference between insects and humans. Bacteria is also different from fungi, which just ups the Bacon score.
  • BladedFalcon - January 13, 2012 8:59 p.m.

    Okay, I've now also though of a couple things that I think could be cool to know the science behind them: -Chargeable energy/Plasma guns such as the mega/X-buster from the Megaman series, or the plasma pistols from Halo. Basically, how plausible could it be in real life to have a gun that can store a high quantity of energy and release it as a blast, yet still be able to fire quicker, but less charged bursts of energy? -Plasmids as the ones seen in the Bioshock games. It's obvious that they will never be as drastic or as cool as the ones we see in those games. But the concept of integrating plasmids of ADN and splicing them into our own ADN is something that doesn't sound entirely impossible, considering that bacteria pretty much do that. -The functionality behind the ARS (Augmented Reaction Suit) used in Vanquish. Okay, i realize this one's far more obscure, but it might also be the most plausible one. basically, the idea behind the suit is that it would, during intense battle scenarios, inject a surge of drugs that would allow the brain and body to react much faster for short periods of time to basically allow the user to get out of seemingly impossible situations. I already know that in real life there's drugs that can enhance brain speed processing and reflexes, (Meth comes to mind.) but would it be possible to refine them to such a degree that it could make it seem that time is slowed down? even if it's just for a few seconds?
  • dog360spider - January 13, 2012 9:38 p.m.

    About your last point, stim packs in starcraft 2 comes to mind
  • Andrew Groen - January 15, 2012 2:57 p.m.

    I loves me some StarCraft 2. Might have to do something on Stim Packs.
  • Andrew Groen - January 15, 2012 2:59 p.m.

    Those are good suggestions. I'll definitely keep this on file when I'm planning future installments. Also it'll give me an excuse to finally play Vanquish while rationalizing that "it's for work..."
  • BladedFalcon - January 15, 2012 6:54 p.m.

    *Laughs* It would really be awesome if it got you to play Vanquish! I mean, that's one of those games that deserves to be played by a lot of people. In my eyes, it truly refined and kinda perfected the cover based third person shooters in a way that makes Gears of War look sluggishly boring, easy and slow... Additionally, the ARS isn't the only science-y thing that you could find in the game, a lot of the weapons have very cool "what if we can actually make this IRL?" concepts as well.
  • waitingforCharlietosnap - January 13, 2012 7:47 p.m.

    Nice article, Mr. Groen, I look forward to the next part of zombie science, as well as the other topics you will eventually explore.
  • Andrew Groen - January 15, 2012 2:57 p.m.

    Thanks! Hope to see you back in the comments for the next one. (Seriously, comment like crazy so Gary and Mikel let me keep doing this forever ;-) I'll be covering Haitian zombies, rage zombies, and neurotoxins.
  • BladedFalcon - January 15, 2012 6:51 p.m.

    Wait... so you mean that the more comments you have, the likelier this will remain going? I'll be sure to comment whenever I can then! honestly Mr. Groen, your articles and the ones in High horse are easily my new favorite features of this site. Your articles are both informative, and entertaining, and very interesting. So keep up the good job!
  • blazikenrocker - January 13, 2012 6:31 p.m.

    I would just like to mention that Toxoplasma Gondii just like Cordyceps is not designed to work on the human body. Toxoplasma Gondii is normally found in Cats and Rats/Mice it begins it's lifecycle in the cat but is eventually spread to other organisms through dead skin, sheading faeces, etc. Once it reaches the Rat host it hijacks the brains fear centres and removes a fear of cats and instead causes a sexual atraction. This does not affect any other part of the brain as the Toxoplasma needs to be eaten by a cat in order to complete it's lifecycle. The makeup of the fear centre in our brain is not like rats so the Toxoplasma cannot complete it's very specific task, as humans are rather unlikely to be eaten by cats. This means that Toxoplasma Gondii can never evolve into a Zombie disease as it simply dies of old age in humans, because like I mentioned earlier they can only reproduce in cats and evolution comes from a mutation in the genes which is past on to it's offspring meaning any mutant Toxoplasma with a better ability to control US will simply die in that human and never complete it's lifecycle. I also think latest research showed Toxoplasma was in 75% of Humans, but not so sure about that one.
  • Jedipimp0712 - January 13, 2012 5:24 p.m.

    next you should do something like laser guns or warp tech, or invisibility (obviously from the sci-fi side of games) very interesting though, a really good read is "The Zombie Survival Guide" by Max Brooks. cleverly written to be an awesome satire on survival techniques. i cant wait to see what part II has in store (and maybe even a part III! :D )
  • codystovall - January 13, 2012 5:18 p.m.

    My research shows that zombies are a cheap excuse for AI. But yes interesting article.
  • gamingfreak - January 13, 2012 4:56 p.m.

    This was really interesting. Keep up the good work GR!
  • Cyberninja - January 13, 2012 4:45 p.m.

    this is pretty interesting

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