• communinja - February 27, 2013 2:58 p.m.

    1) The crossbow would have a heat-reflective surface to focus the heat on the rail whilst preventing damage to rest of the gun. 2) Samus' blaster, much the the Tardis, is bigger on the inside. There is no way for it to possible fit her arm, AND still fire rockets. The beam generator is likely rather large and well insulated. with no direct contact with the suit except for a control module. Think of it like a 'pocket dimension' similar to where the Transformers store most their robot bits, or a bag of holding. 3) The lightning gun. It has already been proven that we can direct, and redirect, lightning using a laser. This at least gets us to the intended target. With sufficient enough voltage the lightning should jump to the nearest grounding points. 4) The dark matter gun doesn't fire just a black hole. It fires a gravity well generator that contains a microscopic black hole. When this generator breaks open on impact, the black hole is released and becomes unstable. This is why it consumes the matter in the immediate area vicinity then collapses in on itself and vanishes. 5) the gravity hammer uses an inertial dampening field to negate any forces acting upon the wielder, while also anchoring that person to the hammer itself so as to prevent them from suddenly floating off into space. This explains why the wielder is immune to the effect, as well as explaining why they appear to be floating when the hammer hits the ground. 6) the peacemaker is a railgun the fires using a magnetic centrifuge. The centrifuge would also be a vacuum chamber, which prevents any surface friction from air resistance. Once fired, the ammunition follow magnetic stabilization system in the barrel (to prevent contact with the sides). Once the rounds leave the barrel, the air resistance causes each round to become superheated which immolates the target. As there is no friction in the gun itself, there is no heat transferred to the gun. 7) The experimental MIRV was loosely based on the Davy Crockett nuclear rifle from the cold war. It didn't see action because it was impossible to outrun the blast wave cause by the mini-nuke's explosion. With a 'clean' enough nuclear explosion, the radioactive material is used up in nearly it's entirety. There would still be plenty of radiation, but in a post-apocalyptic world such as the one seen in Fallout, it would hardly make a noticeable difference. 8) the energy sword. These are designed to be wielded by an individual wearing energy shielding. The blade and the shield would be designed to work along very specific wavelengths, to prevent the blade from passing through it's own wielder's shield. Similar to how a light sabre can cut through all matter EXCEPT the blade of another light sabre. Furthermore, the handle of this weapon is designed in such a way that only an idiot would hold it backwards, and even if they did, they wouldn't be able to hold down all of the (numerous) blue trigger buttons pictured. If is an obvious safety feature that would prevent the blade from triggering unless the hilt is held in a very specific manor. 9) plasma simply refers to superheated air. Much like railgun, the flames you see when it fires are not the propellent, but rather the air turning to plasma because of the friction of the air resistance. It wouldn't be hard to fathom a gun that could fire a small fusion reaction or something else that would generate enough heat to surround the round with plasma as it passes through the air. 10) Yeah, okay, i agree. Only Serious Sam (and most pirate ships) would be capable of this one. Thoughts?
  • angelusdlion - March 1, 2013 12:31 p.m.

    to paraphrase the MST4K theme song. "If you wonder how they load and shoot and other science facts. You should tell yourself "It's just a game, I really should relax." :)
  • alex-trapp - May 20, 2014 1:38 p.m.

    Work at GamesRadar
  • dlam - February 27, 2013 2:27 p.m.

    "Sometimes a BFG can be too FB" ^ genus subheading
  • DanteMurasaki - February 27, 2013 1:11 p.m.

    how about the redeemer in UT?
  • Hmb556 - February 27, 2013 12:38 p.m.

    Maybe that's why the covenant only have 3 fingers :3
  • JCrysis86 - February 27, 2013 12:23 p.m.

    Cerebral Bore from Turok 64....One of the coolest weapons ever. Possibly one of the most crazy!
  • FoxdenRacing - February 27, 2013 12:12 p.m.

    Hilarious and practical, unlike the weapons in the article. Well done, Dave. It's a lot older, but I'd also put about half the arsenal from UT on the list. I've watched someone take their own head off with a ripper, and with the Biorifle I can't imagine lugging around a gun whose barrel is coated in toxic slime would be good for your health. Not to mention using a tactical nuke in a small arena...
  • DICEs - February 27, 2013 11:53 a.m.

    Fun article Dave really enjoyed it.. But I would just like to nit pick one thing. As they have space travel where temperatures can get close to absolute zero (-273C/-460F) it's probably likely that they have developed a type of metal or system that can negate thermal conduction or minimise it to a large degree.
  • BladedFalcon - February 27, 2013 11:28 a.m.

    Y'know Hooters, for all your reliance and logic used for this article, your nitpicking fails in two instances regarding the gravity hammer and the energy sword. With the hammer, if you're conceding someone could be strong enough to swinging, there's a rather easy, non-brainer solution to the shockwave problem: Just jump or lift your feet to make sure they are not touching the ground when the hammer makes contact. You'd be perfectly fine then. Of course, that's not what happens in-game, but still, kind of an easy solution there. As for the energy sword... did you see the design of the handle? how stupid would one have to be to grab it the wrong way even when it's turned off? I'd think that very prominent, big ridge in the middle makes for an obvious indicator that you're supposed to grab that with the fingers sliding along, since it'd be pretty much impossible to grab that pointing at your palm.
  • KA87 - February 27, 2013 11:14 a.m.

    You know the sad part is the US government actually developed a rocket launcher that fired a mini nuke. The problem with it was that its effective range was like 5 mile less than the fallout from the nuke so the guy or guys that fired it were going to get radiation poisoning.
  • ObliqueZombie - February 27, 2013 10:56 a.m.

    Not to mention the space-time effects of the Gravity Hammer. Albert Enstein would write whole papers on its that. South Park's (the N64 game) cow-gun-thing would be on my top. I mean, how would that even work?
  • bass88 - February 27, 2013 10:45 a.m.

    Pretty much all the weapons from Painkiller can qualify too.
  • Hyperion - February 27, 2013 10:20 a.m.

    land shark gun. that is all.
  • GR_DavidHoughton - February 27, 2013 10:24 a.m.

    Third-person shooter, otherwise it would have been the crowning glory of this list. Though if this proves popular enough there might be room for a follow-up.
  • Hyperion - February 27, 2013 10:37 a.m.

    oh yea it was wasn't it. been a while since i played it. I'll keep an eye out for that then.

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