Infinity Ward has been rediscovering a joy reserved for developers who release a phenomenally high-selling competitive videogame: the ability to ban accordingly large numbers of cheaters, scoundrels, and ne'er-do-wells. Over 1600 blackguards have been served with cooldown time since Modern Warfare 3's launch, with the studio promising more bans on the way – as well as a fix for the bugs being exploited by cheaters...
Above: Hiding inside a wall and shooting passersby? You best believe that's a paddlin'
“Any attempt to cheat, hack, or glitch in MW3 will not be tolerated,” tweeted Infinity Ward's creative strategist, Robert Bowling, recently: “1600+ bans issued. Updates in works. Please continue to report offenders.” “Updates” refers to clipping issues exploited by camp-happy cheaters over recent days, leading to mass bans on PC; lag issues are also being addressed in an upcoming patch, alongside daily hotfixes.
“Every ban [is] unique to the level of douchiness of the offense,” explained Bowling when asked to rationalize his team's enthusiastic embrace of the banhammer: “The greater the douche the greater the length. PermaDouche possible.” Treyarch wasn't shy about issuing permanent bans for the worst Black Ops malfeasances, with cheating so rife that Activision reportedly considered shutting down the game's PSN servers; it remains to be seen how many MW3 PermaDouches will be ousted by Infinity Ward. Legal, low-level douchiness, however – well, that's just gravy (thank God).