The Avengers are in theaters now, and the whole world is going nuts for the super team. In the history of gaming, the biggest members of the team have starred in their own titles, but many have been left out. While there are deserving heroes out there, some exist that will only get their own game should the owners of Marvel lose their minds. These losers somehow ended up on the Avengers, but hopefully they'll never get their own game. And that includes...
Dr. Druid
In fact, its Druids stupid obsession that would make for a bad game. Hes just hard to like, and his powers of totally being a druid you guys wouldnt make for great gameplay. Despite being an Avenger at some point for some reason because the Avengers literally let anyone with a pseudonym in, hes not all that interesting. He eventually got beaten up and developed a drinking problem, but instead of adding depth - like it did for Tony Stark - it just made him less sympathetic. Its boring to play a character we dont sympathize with. Oh, and he eventually got shot by a Breathing Gun and died.
3D Man
And seriously, what would his game be? Play as a guy who is stronger than other guys but also cant hang out for too long or else he goes away! If he was remarkably interesting we might be able to overlook this, but his powers are so silly that they shatter our suspension of disbelief, even in a world filled with ludicrous super heroes. Plus, theres a 99% chance it would force you to play with red/green 3D glasses, and NO one should have to experience that.
Thunderstrike
With his ponytail, sleeveless jacket and lightning bolt earring, Thunderstrike is so aggressively cutting edge it hurts. Were he to star in a game now (or even in the mid-90s) hed seem like the non-Union Thor, a bootleg version of the game you wanted. Hes kinda strong, can fly sorta fast, and throw his not-hammer pretty hard, but itd all pale in comparison to actually playing as Thor in a third-person action game. On the plus side, hed probably have great quips, like Stop crooks, its Hammer Time!
Swordsman (Jacques Duquesne)
The Swordsmans boring persona would make for an incredibly boring game. His power is literally Swords!, meaning that his game would have to be some sort of hack-and-slash. But theres no way that would end up being very good, for a few reasons - the most obvious being he couldnt actually kill people. It makes sense that Batman and Spider-Man can have their own games, since they can just punch people until they fall down, but when your power is wielding swords, theres really nowhere to go but into a dudes chest.
Squirrel Girl
Mostly known for hanging out in trees and chasing muggers, SG's game would probably involve hopping around branches before going to her babysitting gig (really). Hardcore fans will point out she legitimately beat Doctor Doom once, but that continuity travesty bothers us even more than her love of squirrel puns.
Edwin Jarvis
Though the team treats him with respect and over time he's become something of a historian for the group, it'll never be cool to play as the Avengers' butler. This Alfred knock-off might make french toast just the way Captain America likes it, but cleaning the mansion and being taken hostage by Baron Zemo doesn't make for a good game.
Need more comic adventure? Check out the The Top Avengers that deserve their own video game and Avengers Assemble: The video game adventures of Iron Man [Video].
