If videogame hardware was dug up in a thousand years

Paperweights? Birth control? Let our 3011 exhibition reveal all!

Let's face it, archaeologists are full of it. "See those small walls? Right, that was a kitchen where the king of Wales used to eat dodo eggs. Whole." Thing is, nobody can disprove it because they weren't there. So what would archaeologists of the future say if they dug up today's gaming peripherals? Let's step into the future and take a look:

Date: February 18,3011 AD

Homo-sapiens died out in 2012AD after a magnetic pole reversal had an unexpected EMP effect onthe then-establishedglobal communication network, believed by many to have been called 'teh interwebs'. Civil unrest ensued when the previously socially inactive citizens were forced to communicate face to face. The resulting epidemic of awkwardness kick-started a daisy chain of social revulsion, which eventually led to full-blown nuclear war. The planet was wiped clean and, after the fallout had dissipated, our forefathers emerged from the fallout shelters. They were sadly mutated by the radiation that covered the land,which is why we no longer call ourselves homo-sapiens, butthe brave children of our illustrious forefathers began rebuilding the world into the society we know today.

Almost all physical history books had been converted into digital data by the time the war began, and with the communications network destroyed, very little is known about how this ancient civilisation functioned. Fortunately,archaeological finds have given us a few pieces of the jigsaw puzzle. This is what we are exhibiting today, so please take your time and try to imagine yourself as one of the people who used these ancient devices.

18 Feb, 2011

Date: February 18,3011 AD

Homo-sapiens died out in 2012AD after a magnetic pole reversal had an unexpected EMP effect onthe then-establishedglobal communication network, believed by many to have been called 'teh interwebs'. Civil unrest ensued when the previously socially inactive citizens were forced to communicate face to face. The resulting epidemic of awkwardness kick-started a daisy chain of social revulsion, which eventually led to full-blown nuclear war. The planet was wiped clean and, after the fallout had dissipated, our forefathers emerged from the fallout shelters. They were sadly mutated by the radiation that covered the land,which is why we no longer call ourselves homo-sapiens, butthe brave children of our illustrious forefathers began rebuilding the world into the society we know today.

Almost all physical history books had been converted into digital data by the time the war began, and with the communications network destroyed, very little is known about how this ancient civilisation functioned. Fortunately,archaeological finds have given us a few pieces of the jigsaw puzzle. This is what we are exhibiting today, so please take your time and try to imagine yourself as one of the people who used these ancient devices.

18 Feb, 2011

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

The longest-serving GR+ staffer, I was here when all this was just fields. I'm currently Reviews Editor but still find time to speedrun Sonic levels and make daft Photoshop articles.
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