• Daywalkr - July 18, 2009 6:19 p.m.

    Zombie Invasion? YAY!!! MALL TRIP! Free sporting goods, clothes, and best of all..... McDonalds!!!
  • AbeX300 - July 18, 2009 5:18 p.m.

    @barrage7667 "OH MY GOD IM SO HAPPY EVERYONE I KNOW HAS A GUN!! AS LONG AS ZOMBIES CANT USE GUNS I THINK I MIGHT HAVE A CHANCE!!!" I really hope NO zombie has the intelligence to use weapons (remember Dead Rising with the yellow coats? Cults or zombies, they carry knives, so zombies could have a bit of intelligence, despite the zero brain activity). What would be really threatening is that zombies would use ROCKET LAWNCHAIRS (Metal Slug 3 lol). As you said, however, that they cannot use guns, then that's perfect. I heard that heavy machine guns are one of the WORST guns to use, since it doesn't have the accuracy to shoot a zombie's head. Ah, Dead Rising. You never fail to amaze me.
  • Gameward-Bound - July 18, 2009 2:48 p.m.

    Zombies are a myth. Just like egg yolk.
  • smallberry - July 18, 2009 1:58 p.m.

    I'm totally god damn ready for the Zombies. You know why? They can't get me. I'm plucky and have a sunny disposition. I also have a cricket bat.
  • R4PTUR3 - July 18, 2009 9:54 a.m.

    ahahahahahahahahah the SNIPER CROWBAR. dude, these articles are absolutely genius.
  • Superirish19 - July 18, 2009 7:24 a.m.

    ill comment in a minute,im using the monitor to get rid of this zombie.(screams,zombie moaning and the the occasional flesh rippping sound)
  • ChrisAntistaSmellsLikePizza - July 18, 2009 7:22 a.m.

    Great stuff sir, great stuff.
  • jesusfrk15 - July 18, 2009 6:33 a.m.

    i am pissed and offended that after you said "and now you know" you didnt say "and knowing is half the battle" geez but this article is funny. very very funny. it had some stuff that made sense and other stuff that is just plain ol funny. yay
  • NanoElite666 - July 18, 2009 3:34 a.m.

    I dunno about anyone else, but when the zombies come I'm making a mad dash for the nearest monster truck and going to town. Anyone who doesn't think driving a monster truck through hordes of the undead would be completely and utterly awesome, must already be a zombie themselves... Otherwise, I guess I could settle for some heavy-duty power armor and a minigun. With looooooooooooooots of ammo.
  • Harmon20 - July 18, 2009 3:27 a.m.

    well, I always said I should invest in a shotgun, a pistol, and a utility belt (to hold ammo and maybe a knife) when I get old enough and have a home so I could defend myself. Should probably stock up on some food and water rations to carry easily in a backpack, and a well-supplied first aid kit. That's my top 5 zombie survival items.
  • dweller - July 18, 2009 2:45 a.m.

    No crate will survive when I get my sniper crowbar in the mail.
  • Sfetna20 - July 18, 2009 2:05 a.m.

    Does the sniper crowbar have a thermal scope or nightvision for some long range nocturnal crowbaring?
  • GearsofRabies - July 18, 2009 1:35 a.m.

    I read this back in march
  • MechGyver - July 18, 2009 1:34 a.m.

    I guess, in me case i would run to the nearest shopping mall and baricade myself inside,then i would run around taking pictures and rescuing people and busting the ocasional undead.I guess i would be just fine.(if i get the A Ending)
  • afroninjakatana - July 18, 2009 1:22 a.m.

    I just seen a zombie. I think I'm screwed. Wait, that's just my brother. God he needs to stop moaning and shuffling his feet. Oh god wait HE IS A ZOMBIE........................
  • cheatmaster117 - July 18, 2009 12:54 a.m.

    i wanna live!!!
  • GamerTagsSuck - July 18, 2009 12:54 a.m.

    And malls are poor places to take shelter in. They will never stop and will eventually get through the gates. Then it's only a matter of time. And guns. Guns are always a factor.
  • Spartan523 - July 17, 2009 11:59 p.m.

    this completely ripped off the Zombie survival guide by max brooks, if your going to rip it off at least list it as a source, poor form GR, poor form indeed
  • foxhound - July 17, 2009 11:45 p.m.

    also try using action hero lines to keep up morale eg: if you get a flamethrower "this porridge is too hot" and open litteral fire
  • WouldYouKindly - July 17, 2009 11:01 p.m.

    Well it's official, I'm dead.

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