We all know how to play games. But is there anything we can learn from the pros? And we’re not talking about those 10 year old kids who can wipe the floor with grown men at Street Fighter tournaments. Nah, we’re alluding to the real cream of the crop. Actors. Below you’ll find all the tips on how to look like a gaming pro straight from those who are paid to pretend to play games. So it doesn’t matter if you’re cack-handed and can’t hold a controller. Vince Vaughn is about to set you straight.
Laugh your ass off
No matter what game you’re playing, regardless of genre or subject matter, it’s always, ALWAYS a laugh riot. Learn this, and laugh as often as possible, regardless of whether you're wiping out indigenous tribes or driving over old ladies' skulls, and you'll convince any onlooker you're as hardcore as it gets.
Bash the buttons really hard
If you want to really convince your friends you’re a hardened gamer raised on the likes of Pong and…erm, that one with the aliens, you’ve got to hammer those buttons. Hard. Watch below as Adam Sandler, America’s least comedic comedy actor, displays the technique admirably during the normally docile Shadow of the Colossus. He gets bonus points for calling the game 'Shawdows of Colossus', too. A true thesp if ever we've seen one.
Shout loads of game-related phrases
Doing so will unequivocally convince any people watching that you absolutely know your shit. Using the word ‘frag’ at anytime will almost definitely gain you gamer cred. And who cares if there's no such things as health packs in Halo...
Nothing can ever distract you from a game
Find yourself gaming in the crossfire of two ruthless assassins? Stay clam, pop in those headphones and tune it all out with a nice spot of Doom. After all, bullets are never going to catch your attention when there's low res monsters to be murderised. And you'll look like a total gaming pro to boot.
It's the only way you can fool people into thinking you're a real pro. If you don’t thrash around like a harpooned tuna, vainly trying to mimic the onscreen action, you run the risk of looking disinterested. To really impress your peers, why not dive behind the couch to really sell it.
Every game requires intense mental concentration
Is absolutely THIS riveting:
Hold the pad really far away from you
Further. A little more. That’s it. Just a bit further. This is a crucial rule. The ideal pad-holding length should place you in a position where you’re almost falling off your chair or sofa. Only idiots and people who can’t beat Call of Duty 4 on Veteran hold their controller a comfortable distance from their body.
Make like games are better than girls
Playing video games is scientifically proven to be totally more enticing than going on a date with an attractive woman. Remember this well or people might think you actually prefer pretty girls to pixels.
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