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How games will affect the future of war

The US Army is making its basic training tougher for the first time in 30 years. The reason? Because all potential soldiers are now pansy-ass weaklings who've been ruined by video games. We beg to differ. So we've knocked together some reasons why average Glen Gamer would make a fine recruit and how he'll affect all future wars.


Death by headshots will shoot up 93%

 


Every soldier will be amazing at defusing bombs


Teabagging will win you the Medal of Honor


Soldiers will be more concerned about stealing flags than saving civilians


Or, y'know, this'll happen...

Mar 24, 2010


 

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24 comments

  • Shagnasty - March 28, 2010 5:37 a.m.

    The last one is the reason they're doing it. The US military has become a joke over the last decade. Gamers and females need to get out!
  • Tanklesscrown - March 28, 2010 2:40 a.m.

    *whine* (Sorry for double post)
  • Tanklesscrown - March 28, 2010 2:37 a.m.

    Lol, I agree, with the last pic, all the gamers would probably just wine and ask if they can lower the difficulty.
  • Cyberninja - March 25, 2010 9:08 p.m.

    i wonder why the uk made this and its most likey going to be the last one
  • philipshaw - March 25, 2010 12:55 p.m.

    Great article and have to agree with the headshot thing
  • sft10 - March 25, 2010 8:13 a.m.

    and in the future everybody will use aimbots so they always make headshot.
  • WhiskeyBit - March 25, 2010 4:50 a.m.

    The last one probably depicts a gamer recruit. Also one thing that video games don't put into play is recources. Meaning, in real life, you cant really call in an airstrike every time you see something move. It costs mulah that you cant go a wast'n willy-nilly. Also, just so all you young'ns know, 100% of COD's weapons (and quite frankly, the whole game) are completely inaccurate to the real deal. Most people dont know that. @ragingearth- are you bieng serious?
  • country1st - March 24, 2010 11:53 p.m.

    @ Coldplay42 I do agree with MrDuracraft. about this being a joke. i also read an article that stated that 75% of American youth are unfit for military service if called upon. 75% that's pitiful, and I do believe that last pic would happen. And I support our military 100%.
  • MrDuracraft - March 24, 2010 11:04 p.m.

    @Coldplay42 I don't think that was the point at all. It's a joke, and did you see the final picture? That's probably most likely ;)
  • Coldplay42 - March 24, 2010 9:24 p.m.

    Dumb article. Disrespectful to our armed forces.
  • Skykid - March 24, 2010 8:38 p.m.

    ...and Western Civilization crumbles =(
  • RebornKusabi - March 24, 2010 7:26 p.m.

    *Sorry for double post* I just read the full article and actually what this General guy is talking about is that new recruits, who are gamers, are more intelligent and know their "equipment" however from the gist of what he's saying- he doesn't like the fact that gamer-recruits are more physically-unfit and HERE IS THE BIG REASON: They ask questions about orders their given. This can mean one of two things- (1) They question what the purpose is of climbing that jungle-gym-looking thing, which is stupid and nit-picky OR (2) They question orders that they find objectionable. What that last one translates to is this- He is afraid that if they were in a warzone, they would question or disobey an order to gun-down a child soldier or put gun-fire on a building that COULD have civilians in it. The issue here is that while that child-soldier might have a gun and be shooting at your squad or that building might have enemy combatants in it, we are used to having choices in video games to not harm innocents or children while in a real warzone, you don't. Sure you do have a choice in real life however your time to make a decision is literally only a split-second to decide under fire whereas in a video game, your given a neat and clean little prompt and the ability to retry if you do accidentally kill an innocent. Basically, if it IS that last one then he doesn't like the fact that soldiers no longer blindly follow orders that can end up being morally reprehensible in hindsight. Again though, this is just me hypothesizing and analyzing his statements that were quoted in the Kotaku link.
  • RebornKusabi - March 24, 2010 7 p.m.

    I honestly know 2 people that are in the military and their video game experiences HAVE helped them out. However, I can see why the Army is wanting to crack down on training because while those 2 guys knew that real life warfare =/= video game warfare, there are plenty of recruits who don't...
  • J0NO99 - March 24, 2010 6:54 p.m.

    Lets not forget that we would also be able to kill our enemies by dropping crates with useful things (things including a frickin airstrike...because airstrikes are totally called in by crates that fall from the sky)
  • y2kpikachu12 - March 24, 2010 6:35 p.m.

    will someone explain to me why it says twiddle the right stick after holding x for 14 sec? Nice article, btw.
  • bastionbooger - March 24, 2010 6:17 p.m.

    gamesradar, per usual, posting pro-war propaganda.
  • eee - March 24, 2010 5:08 p.m.

    I love the flag one myself I never got why a team of super soliders are all ready to die for a glorified peice of paper flowing through the wind. But you have to admit the colors are pretty.
  • Ccm731 - March 24, 2010 4:05 p.m.

    As always good article.
  • ragingearth - March 24, 2010 2:15 p.m.

    I'm in the military, and I know for a fact that Xbox 360 controllers are used on certain things. That just goes to show that video games are a mjor part of some people's lives. The headshot thing, BTW, might actually happen.
  • SallyRimwash - March 24, 2010 1:56 p.m.

    @KnightDehumidifier I would love to see an actual battlefield where everyone was just lobbing knives at each other trying to get Carnie III. War is clearly going to be fought exclusively by Metal Gears in the future anyway.

Showing 1-20 of 24 comments

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