Game URLs that don't go where you expect

You can own a domain name for the price of a sandwich, and since many companies, game publishers included, don’t care much about dotting their coms (and why should they, we know how to use Google), there are hundreds of game name URLs which lead to unaffiliated, or completely unrelated sites. As we’re prone to acting like bored teenagers, we spent hours typing random games into our browsers. Here’s what we learned!

Aperture Science is real?

URL: http://www.portal.com

Oh wait, that’s just Oracle. Shit, Oracle has a pretty creepy name, now that we think about it…

Above: “Portal offers the only billing and revenue management solution with a modern, object-oriented architecture… BEWARE!” 

MARIO IS SERIOUS BUSINESS

URL: http://www.mario.com/

YOU CAN’T BUY THIS.

DAISIES BITCH.

Kinect IS as boring as it sounds

URL: http://www.kinect.com

Apparently, Kinect is about “strategic e-Innovation that Closes the Loop on CRM.” Here are some reasons you should want to puke and then dip a pencil in your puke and then stab your face with your puke pencil:

• The unnecessary use of the word “strategic.”
• The word “e-Innovation.” (FFFFFFFUUUUUUU)
• The capitalization of “Closes the Loop.”
• That Microsoft’s Kinect makes you feel the same way.

Above: Strategic e-alienationofcoreaudience 

“Rayman” is some guy’s name

URL: http://www.rayman.com/

And he can teach you how to cut costs and turn your company around! Or maybe he could have, before the late nineties crashed his party and broke all his links.

When you sell boring things, you spell it “shoppe”

URL: http://www.toysoldiers.com/

Have you played the very good XBLA game, Toy Soldiers? Well, it’s good, but the game’s generic name means you might end up at a Canadian toy soldier retailer. How boring do you have to be to… wait, actually…

Above: PEW PEW PEW! Bieber right back, getting our credit cards