England vs Slovenia according to 2010 FIFA World Cup South Africa

England, eh? The source of so much joy but so much more heartache. Having struggled through their group stage so far with two disappointing draws (although I'm sure our US comrades would disagree), it all comes down to this afternoon's game against Slovenia.

Surely we can beat Slovenia? Well, FIFA can tell us - watch the highlights of our simulated game right here:

Loading up 2010 FIFA World Cup South Africa and getting the AI to play as both teams is as close as you can get to watching the match without actually watching the match. And that familiar feeling comes flooding back as Slovenia absolutely boss the early stages of the first half.

Maybe Terry's mind is still on his spat with Capello, but regardless of reason, another massive goalkeeping blunder puts Slovenia ahead in the 31st minute. Capello can't believe it and neither can we.

But then things start to change. As half-time comes and goes, it's England who start to press. Slovenia look tired and some crucial challenges come flying in from Terry, raising the crowd. And the belief starts to come.

Above: How dare you wear the Cross of St George as a boob tube!

It's only ten minutes before England equalise, with Rooney slotting away a rebound in spectacular style. It's on like Donkey Kong.

In the 71st minute, England get themselves in front. And it's much-maligned but suddenly rather brilliant Emile Heskey who gets it. After a few heart-in-mouth moments, the final whistle comes and it's England who take the win.

The sad thing is, this is an absolutely believeable scenerio. Only England could make such a meal out of what should have been a simple game. But no matter - they're through to the round of 16. Come on, England!

23 Jun, 2010


  • philipshaw - June 24, 2010 12:28 p.m.

    They won but they will be put out in the next round
  • AA95mp - June 23, 2010 4:57 p.m.

    thank god we won 1-0. recaptcha:desta larz
  • vinicusg.t.guedes - June 23, 2010 4:45 p.m.

    I'm glad England got to the round of 16, but they need to play better if they plan to get further.
  • loonyman978 - June 23, 2010 4:19 p.m.

    well, they won 1-0. I think the game was overly optimistic
  • vinicusg.t.guedes - June 23, 2010 12:56 p.m.

    Either winning or loosing, the English Team won't go very far in the WC if they stick to the mediocre football they have shown in the first games. Biggest dissapointment of this WC so far.
  • Joshin69 - June 23, 2010 12:52 p.m.

    if it goes as you and fifa have predicted Justin I shall be a very happy if not emotionally worn out chap.
  • db1331 - June 23, 2010 12:15 p.m.

    That was about as unrealistic a game as I've ever seen. I didn't hear a single vuvuzela.
  • reverandglass - June 23, 2010 11:44 a.m.

    unfortunately this simulation had 2 things England don't; Beckham and a Heskey who can score! @FreekinIdiot I'm with you on this one it's like hoping the next Sonic game will be good. Oh, hang on...! (crosses fingers)
  • BigBoss - June 23, 2010 11:42 a.m.

    Heskey to score the winner? Yeah something is wrong with the game.
  • FreekinIdiot - June 23, 2010 11:02 a.m.

    I'm soooo doubtful that England are going to win today. I'd like to believe but I've been burnt before. Oh AND KEEP HESKY ON THE DAMN BENCH FABIO!
  • Tronto13 - June 23, 2010 10:44 a.m.

    i reckon we can pull it out the bag, i think its finally hit the squad that the entire country hates them at the moment and only a win will change that!
  • gamesradar_george1 - June 23, 2010 10:39 a.m.

    What group are Scotland in again Meiks?
  • Games_Radar_DaveMeikleham - June 23, 2010 10:34 a.m.

    C'mon England (the football team)! Win the football match (by scoring the most goals)!

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