Google+

Bill O'Reilly says Mars has no moons... then where does Doom take place???

Fox News shoutmaster Bill O'Reilly recently said the ebb and flow of the tides is something science can't explain. All theological and religious arguments aside, we of course know precisely why tides exist - the moon. So naturally, that lead O'Reilly to ask the most important question in history - HOW DID THE MOON GET THERE?

Now, we don't have a 100% accurate answer for that. The prevailing hypothesis says the moon could be a big ol' chunk of Earth that was torn away by a massive impact millions of years ago. Or it could have been plucked from God's Galaxy Garden and placed there just so wolves would have something to yell at. We can debate it forever. But part of O'Reilly's argument is that the moon is unique to Earth, and therefore special. To further the point, he asks "how come Mars doesn't have that?"

Well, now I'm really confused, because I swore Mars had two moons, Phobos and Deimos. But if I trust this talking head instead of researching news on my own, then I must have been mistaken my whole life. And if Mars has no moons, then WHERE THE HELL DOES DOOM TAKE PLACE? Does id Software know this? Should I call John Carmack and John Romero and tell them they've been duped by scientists in the pocket of Big Deimos?


Above: OH GOD EVERYTHING IS IN QUESTION NOWWWWWW


Above: Hey wait... Doom's depictions of Phobos and Deimos have mountains and trees... they faked it! Holy shit Mars really doesn't have moons! I am now forced to ask...


Above: How'd the moon get there?


Above: How'd the moon get there?


Above: How did it get there?


Above: C'mon


Above: How'd it get there?

My mind is made up. Mars must not really have any satellites, and dozens of games throughout history have perpetuated the myth of two phantom moons. Clearly our moon is special. Well ours and the 63 orbiting Jupiter and 62 surrounding Saturn. He didn't mention those,so I guess they're cool.

Feb 2, 2011

Topics

WTF

96 comments

  • therawski - February 8, 2011 11:45 p.m.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moon (solid on the inside) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mars_moons (debunks Bill O'Reily) Maybe he should STFU instead of calling the whole world pinheads, Fox news could replace his segment with static and it would actually be fair and balanced!
  • NullG7 - February 8, 2011 1:41 a.m.

    How much does this guy get paid to be so ignorant?
  • BarbwireTino - February 7, 2011 4:23 p.m.

    BellaKazza is right Mars has "minor satellites: small chunks of rock in orbit around planets as compared with large satellites like the Earth's Moon." So I guess Doom is not the end all of science? Who knew?
  • BoxBackResearcher - February 7, 2011 12:04 a.m.

    I love it when smart@$$es open their mouths call other people "pinheads" and end up looking even dumber. Too funny.
  • Sensationo - February 6, 2011 5:09 a.m.

    So great. Fits with the O'Reilly jingle I made from the O'Reilly auto parts jingle. O O O O'Reilly, Bill O'Reilly's f*ckin nuts OWW!
  • EwoksTasteLikeChicken - February 5, 2011 4:40 p.m.

    Seeing that picture makes me want to play Doom again.
  • Gurkogg - February 5, 2011 12:09 p.m.

    See what happens when you mock a celebrity, people feel like their belief systems are being threatened. Then you get a pointless political debate started for no reason because they can not compartmentalize different facets of their existence. The humanity of it all! BTW I laughed hysterically and hope you find more ways to tie old games to celebreties.
  • bkoz117 - February 4, 2011 9:43 p.m.

    come on, gr. I try to go a whole day without hearing some political bullshit, and you show me a bill o'reilly video? come on.
  • Alomeigne - February 4, 2011 4:44 p.m.

    Surprised to see the AC2 reference, though that's where my mind first went. I'm going to continue not listening to anything Bill says and go about my day.
  • Rivenscry - February 4, 2011 2:43 p.m.

    Ignore the last post, I was just peeved after reading about the 3D version of Indiana Jones and Star Wars. *Sigh* George Lucas, why? No offence meant celticfan645. Toodles.
  • Rivenscry - February 4, 2011 2:39 p.m.

    Um, I have a question... How the hell did this turn in to a political debate and why in the world was celticfan645 involved? You know, the guy who thinks that game piracy is having no effect on the industry whatsoever... Nah, just ignore me. I've been awake way too long and won;t even remember posting this tomorrow. OPeace out, GR and the posters.
  • BarbwireTino - February 4, 2011 4:38 a.m.

    I totally had a great idea for a story next week! You could totally tie Kings Quest to Health Care Reform! Think of the possibilities.
  • rainbowbrite - February 4, 2011 4:19 a.m.

    Of course this story had nothing to do with the writers political beliefs. Anyone could see that he would be a fool not to haphazardly tie a 15+ year old video game to a political commentators stupid comments. I mean come on Doom is so hot right now. I think we all agree that this has nothing to do with all these topics ecspecially video games.
  • XSgtShootemupX - February 4, 2011 1:43 a.m.

    'Cus God just couldn't comprehend how to create the universe. So he said. FUCK IT. WE'LL DO IT LIVE! And as he did so. The Big Bang occured.
  • ODmangaz - February 4, 2011 12:09 a.m.

    How'd it get there?
  • Vance - February 3, 2011 11:03 p.m.

    @Larinah This article is not political or religious in any way. There is no bias. The only point being made is that bill O'Reilly, a man with tons of fans thinks that Mars doesn't have any moons.You want people to give evidence to support their criticism, well there you go, the man thinks that Mars doesn't have any Moons. Brett isn't insulting Republicans or Christians in any way, shape or form, he's just acknowledging a ridiculous statement.
  • R_U_Guys_From_British - February 3, 2011 10:08 p.m.

    Wow. This guy is dumb.
  • Larinah - February 3, 2011 10 p.m.

    @all the people saying gamesradar is stupid for getting involved in political stuff, I wholeheartedly agree now that I've had some sleep. Don't post stuff that has no relevance whatsoever to gaming. I come on here for GAMING news, not to hear someone badmouth political icons. Grow up Mr. Elston. (PS: Everyone saying Bill is an idiot, give reasons for your opinion.)
  • kyle94 - February 3, 2011 8:49 p.m.

    @Stridefizzel: Overall, I do agree with you and understand where you're coming from. I'm glad that there are still decent and rational people on the internet that respect others and aren't flamers. Now, if you need me, I'm going back to replaying Assassin's Creed. I love that game, but bloody hell is it annoying. "Altair! Please kill these 3 archers for me! But you can't be spotted or else you instantly lose! Just try not to do it easily using throwing knives because then the archers will fall down, guards will get alerted, you'll miss a jump, and have to repeat the mission several times since the guards won't leave you alone!" *10 minutes later* Me: "Screw this. I'm just going to go push some crazies and beggars into walls for a while."
  • Dutch - February 3, 2011 8:47 p.m.

    Bill O'Reilly is such an idiot.

Showing 1-20 of 96 comments

Join the Discussion
Add a comment (HTML tags are not allowed.)
Characters remaining: 5000