A proud tradition of lies
April Fools Day may be one of the most annoying days to read the Internet, simply because you never can be sure whats real. Every site seems out to trick you--though we at GR would never do that to you. But its not just enthusiast sites that get in on the act. Many of the biggest game publishers in the world arent above having a little fun at their fans expense.
2013 was no different, as we saw clever DLC, non-existent merch, and even a few things that might actually be on sale some day. Think you caught every good joke out there? You should double check this list just to be sure.
Journey Rocket Death Match DLC
Journey was highly esteemed by gamers of all walks last year, and it made our shortlist for the best games of 2012. It was just so different from everything else on the market, but it was clearly missing something: twitchy gunplay. Developer thatgamecompany finally intends to fix it with the imaginary Rocket Death Match DLC, which adds explosive firefights to the formerly somber affair. If you read the YouTube description youll see that the DLC is planned for spring of 2014, perhaps a final inside joke about Journeys lengthy development.
Starcraft 2s Warhound returns
Gamers hate to be teased with content only to have it ultimately stripped away, even if the content is removed for balancing reasons. That was the case with Starcraft 2s Warhound unit. The Terran powerhouse was cut from multiplayer post-beta despite the grumbling of some fans, but the mech makes its triumphant return in Blizzards April Fools announcement. In a somewhat catty blog post Blizzard revealed that all three of the races would now get access to the Warhound as a worker unit. Yes, they work exactly the same as the normal builders save for their appearance, but a little Warhound is better than none, right?
Dishonoreds special developer commentary
We like watching developer commentary on a game as much as the next professional games journalist, but some of those videos can get too dry and boring. Thats not the case with this special Dishonored walkthrough. Here the devs throw out a number of absurd facts about the game, including that they worked for years on a single light bulb, or that the NPCs age in real time. If only even one of these were true.
ThinkGeeks BMO and Creeper toys
At this point, April Fools Day should be officially renamed ThinkGeek R&D Day. The nerd-friendly online store has a history of making joke items that eventually become actual retail products, and this year is no different. Adventure Time fans should be crossing their fingers that the BMO mod for iPad Minis gets manufactured, because it will finally allow fans to enjoy Finn and Jakes console/robotic friend of choice in the real world. Meanwhile, the Creeper body pillow might seem too strange for most people, but we bet there are at least a few Minecraft fans that wouldnt mind hugging up on this cuddly green guy. Let's hope he doesn't explode in the middle of the night.
Deus Ex: Human Defiance
Rumors are running rampant that a new Deus Ex game is soon to be announced, but now it seems like Square Enix Montreal was teasing us the whole time. After a cryptic update the night before, the Deus Ex Facebook page announced the thoroughly retro Deus Ex: Human Defiance. It takes conflicted protagonist Adam Jensen into the second dimension, and the developers call the move a natural evolution. Will this de-make actually happen if the Deus Ex Facebook page reaches 250,000 likes? Or will an actual, full-fledged Human Defiance show up tomorrow? Well likely have a better idea once April Fools Day is finally over.
The Retromator 4000
Good Old Games is one of the better online stores for purchasing classic PC games, but older fans are no doubt troubled by all the newfangled games on the service. Today GOG introduced a fanciful fix to the problem: The Retromator 4000. The fictional program transforms modern games into 1990s era point-and-click titles or image-free text adventures for the excessively old fan. If only this lovely invention were real, because that would give fledgling PC gamers a chance to see what a world before HD monitors was like.
Pop n Music Body pillow
The US isnt the only group in the mood for April Fools shenanigans. Japan has jumped into the spirit relatively recently, at least when it comes to online jokes. Of the few weve seen today, the best had to be Konamis Pop n Music body pillows. We get the sense that body pillows are slightly more common in Japan than they are in the West, but we like to see that they can also get into the absurdity of sleeping next to your favorite video game character.
The Star Trek Gorn commercial
Younger fans might have been confused by the use of the Gorn as the enemy in Namcos upcoming Star Trek: The Video Game, but older Trekkies will remember Captain Kirks epic (if low budget) battle against a hulking Gorn in the original series. This new commercial resumes the classic contest decades later with todays William Shatner and the impressively well-aged Gorn. This may not have been a traditional April Fools joke, but it made us laugh on April 1st, which is all that really matters.
Star Wars just got served
Lightsaber battles may have impressed us at age 10 (and, admittedly, through 25), but the bright colored wands just arent enough for us these days. Based on its April 1 announcement, The Old Republic looks to be done with laser swords duels as well. The Dance of the Hutts update will add dance battles to the MMO. Preferably the loser will be fed to a Rancor. Also, this theoretical update will finally allow players to have Hutts as a mount. We cant wait to explore Tatooine at 3mph.
Guild Wars 2 Super Adventure Box
You have to give Guild Wars 2 extra credit for going the extra mile to actually release this bit of April Foolishness. The Super Adventure Box reskins the world as a tribute to gamings past with allusions to Pitfall and Zelda. You can enjoy this great bit of fan service all month long, and youll hopefully unlock the Super Adventure Box weapon skin so you can treasure this adventure forever. You can learn more about the new quest here.
Cat Girl Without Salad!
We're big fans of WayForward, so we were ecstatic when it announced a new game: Cat Girl Without Salad! And then we read the description and remembered what day it was, and, well yeah. The game puts you in the space boots of Kebako--a female space bounty hunter and four-star chef--and the gameplay is a mix of genres, including puzzler, platformer, shmup, action, shooter, adventure, strategy, fighting, rhythm, arcade, horror, tactical, RPG, TPS, RTS, and visual novel, and will come out this fall exclusively to Nintendo 3DS, DS, Wii, Wii U, XBLA, PSN, PC, Vita, iOS, and Android.
Segas Goat Processing
Sonic thought he had the edge over Mario in the 1990s thanks to its vaunted Blast Processing tech on the Genesis. Now Sega has a new technology to give it a similar edge in 2013: Goat Processing. Could this mean Sonic will soon be getting a new goat friend in his next title?