Ask GR Anything is a
weekly Q&A column that answers questions submitted by readers (as well as
questions we're particularly curious about ourselves). Got a burning question
about games or the industry? Ask us in the comments below and you may just get
Solid Snake's unwavering stylishness is one of the great
mysteries in the history of great mysteries. Reader OneTimeBuster brought this
to our attention a couple of months ago, and we've been dying for the
opportunity to dive in head-first. It just took a little while, because it's
difficult to come up with excuses to talk about mullets that will make it past
the GR editing desk, y'know?
He asked, "Why do
mullets only look good in Metal Gear Solid games?" We appreciate
OneTimeBuster's question, but we think it's flawed from the outset. Mullets
have gotten a bum rap lately, as many people have horribly distorted the
originally intended shape of this glorious ‘do.
Above: Go ahead, try to say
you're not intimidated by this mane. We both know you'll be lying
This is not a haircut
intended for the common plebeian. It's reserved for the gods among us. Some
people, in their envious quest to impersonate the gods, have distorted the
common perception of the mullet into an unstylish atrocity. However, there's
nothing structurally wrong with it, and there's no reason why a glorious head
of hair arranged into a mullet-shape can't be part of a balanced style.
We cannot and must not stereotype this cut based on
the limited actions of a few cretins. Just because it somewhat resembles the
general form of a mullet does not put it in the same class. David Beckham often
rocks a mullet, and he's an international sex symbol. A.C. Slater wore one
proudly, as did Andre Agassi in his shirtless, chesty prime. Not to mention
John Stamos, and Patrick Swayze. MacGyver too. Norris. Bowie. McCartney. Check
out the manes on some of those guys. They look like proud lions. It's pretty
clear that a mullet is as glorious or disgusting as you make it.
The mullet doesn't make
the man. The man (or woman) makes the mullet. And Solid Snake owns his mullet
with a vengeance. As for how he manages to pull off a one-piece leotard over
and over again... that's a much more difficult mystery to solve.
Above: What wonders lie beneath the surface of this incredibly powerful
Over the past three
months of Ask GR Anything, it has become increasingly clear that if we didn't
eventually address the growing curiosity over the science of Pokeballs, then
we'd have a significant riot on our hands. So, out of concern for GR being
razed to the ground, Future Publishing's board of directors beseeched Ask GR
Anything to address the issue and put the curiosity to rest.
However, we regret to
inform you that, despite an exhaustive search for more information, we still
have no idea what technologies might be behind the Pokeball. Even Bulbapedia
doesn't pretend to have any explanation for that wondrous device.
We thought about
something like a mini-black hole, but that theory doesn't work. Black holes can
mash anything down to the size of a pinhead, but getting it out again is
practically impossible. Unless you've got a few million years to wait around
for your Pokemon to be spat back out, particle by particle, in the form of
Some definitions of the
Pokeball insist that the creature is turned from matter into energy that can be
stored in a Pokeball. Then it can be rematerialized once it's thrown onto the
battlefield. This is a cute story, but it's more than a little absurd. Why?
Well, because this is what happens when you convert objects into energy:
Above: One Poke-battle could very likely destroy the entire Earth
In a nuclear fission
reaction, about .1 percent of the atom's energy is released. And just that
small amount can destroy a city if you've got enough material (the first nukes
had about 140 pounds of uranium). So changing a (let's say 30-pound) Pokemon
into pure energy would produce as much kinetic energy as about 200 Hiroshima
bombs. And that's only if it's a Pikachu. That number goes up substantially if
we're talking about a fully grown, 900-pound Wailord. We're pretty sure our
plastic Pokeball replicas couldn't survive that kind of a blow.
Unfortunately, after a
lengthy investigation, we have concluded that Pokeballs are pure fantasy. We
prefer to think of them (as one GR reader suggested) as mini-Doctor Who
Tardises with lots of space held inside a tiny area. That way, you could just
have a pet carrier inside the Pokeball and sidestep the messy nuclear
Thank you for reading
this first installment of Ask GR Anything: Silly Questions Edition. We'll
likely have cause to offload more ridiculous questions again in the future, so
keep your eyes peeled for Part 2 some day. In the meantime, hit me with your
most serious (or ridiculous, those are fun too) burning questions.
Submit your own
questions in the comments (or Tweet them to @sciencegroen) and we may tackle
them in a future Ask GR Anything.