11 video game couples who aren't in relationships (but should be)

But who would get with Duke?

A version of this article originally posted in February of 2012.

We'll go down with this ship

The hero climbs the tower, slays the dragon, locks eyes with the captive prince/princess, and they fall in love. Love is simple, isn't it? Except... we all know that's not how it happens. Love doesn't have a quest marker hanging over it--it needs to be found, and sometimes it's found in the most unlikely of places. So, today, we celebrate that by matching characters that may not technically have a shot together. Maybe he's the villain and she's the princess. Maybe she's a robot and he's a lump of flesh. Maybe they're not even remotely in the same canon. It doesn't matter. They are destined to be together.

We've broken down the walls here, people--we don't care if these characters have ever met. We don't care if they're in relationships. We're playing matchmaker, and we won't be bound by the laws of canon; we're straight up crackship, and, well, we're not apologizing for anything.

Dante loves Bayonetta

Let's face it, Bayonetta wears the trousers in this relationship. But at least Dante could keep her amused for more than a couple of minutes. He's all emo and everything--look, we didn't even have to add in that rose in his mouth, that was there already. What a romantic.

Kratos loves Nariko

It's a match made in heaven... which is appropriate really considering she's dead. But if she weren't dead, this would make a whole load of sense. They're both warriors, both like swinging stuff around to kill countless people in one go and Nariko's figure is plainly comparable to a Greek goddess.

Boo loves Pinky

You can just see it now: "Pinky and Boo request your company at their wedding ceremony". At least this is a love that really can last forever. Having both died already and managed to manifest as ghosts, there's nothing to stop them drifting together forever, through eternity. And walls.

Marcus Fenix loves Cammy

Gears of War's beefy protagonist is about the only person we can imagine who would make lethal-weapon-in-lycra Cammy from Street Fighter feel safer. They could do lovely things together like take strolls through dappled glades, or maybe he could lasso a white horse for her to ride. Just don't mention her psycho crusher of an ex-boyfriend...

Kirby loves Jigglypuff

Awww aren't they just adorable? The only potential problem is Jigglypuff's sleep-inducing singing causing Kirby to snore and accidentally inhale his mate.

Waluigi loves Daisy

Listen, we all know she's way too good for Luigi. She's rough. She's tough. She wants the bad boy, and the lyin', cheatin' Waluigi is just the man for her. Also, like Waluigi, she only really ever shows off in the spin-off games, whereas Luigi's been really busy this past year. Are we to expect she just hung out in the castle baking cakes?

Master Chief loves Samus (especially Zero Suit Samus)

The romance of John-117 and Samus Aran is basically the Romeo and Juliette of gaming--two star-crossed lovers, similar in every way, but held apart by family bloodlines. Seriously, is there a more classic love story than two armor-clad heroes, exploring space and saving humanity from evil aliens together? Alas, they can never be together. Lady Aran, allied with Nintendo, could never be seen with Master Chief. It's heartbreaking, really.

Nathan Drake loves Lara Croft

Forget that Elena Fisher, Drake--she's not an adventurer like you are. Lara, on the other hand, is already into antiques, has money to fund further expeditions and has no problem shooting hundreds of henchmen dead without the slightest provocation.

Ekans loves Solid Snake

It's the typical "guy gets cloned, guy gets mildly sexual name, guy falls in love with snake" love story. Romance.

Duke Nukem loves himself

It's a bromance! Who could possibly win Duke's affections enough to surpass his love for himself? No-one, that's who. Always bet on Duke. Duke does.

Meat Boy loves Potato GLADOS

Meat and potato. #jokeoftheyear

Any Raz x Altair shippers around?

There's plenty of other pairings that make total, logical sense if you think about them, and we're sure you're going to give us a few more to talk about in the comments. Want to merge together Wreck It Ralph with Persona 4? Mash The Wolf Among Us's Bigby with Edea from Bravely Default? Let us know why!

And if you're looking for more, check out most heartbreaking moments and 9 video game teams that need their own spin-offs.