Let's get this out in the open. We're all sick of nature. Yes, it's trendy to cry about saving the panda and preserving the precious rainforest, but secretly, we've had enough of plants and animals getting in the way of our lives. Wouldn't it just be easier if we could take a golf club to the face of every panda we see gurning at us from behind their ill-gotten bamboo shoots? Of course it would!
Unfortunately, thanks to The Man, we can't get away with viciously decimating legions of deserving animals in real life. Thank the sweet maker for videogames, which allow us to give these smarmy fauna the kicking they deserve. You still can't punch a marmoset for perceived sarcasm, but you can at least explode a digital cow. Check out our list of top games that let you kill animals. They're asking for it…
If there are any monstrosities more deserving of punishment than Nazis, it's those methane-billowing, cud-chewing, udder-dragging cows. Sean Devlin, plucky Irish hero of Pandemic's The Saboteur, is well aware of this fact, which is why he uses good dynamite in order to blow those bastardly bovine to bloody bits.
Destroying cows in The Saboteur is particularly satisfying, since World War II era cows are apparently made out of mushroom flesh, breaking into chunks and flying everywhere with the slightest applied force. Driving around a field and smashing into cows that burst on impact like balloons full of porridge is truly one of gaming's most rare and beautiful treats. Keep fighting the good fight!
Far Cry 2
Nobody likes zebras. They are merely fancy horses, strutting around with their exquisite stripes and acting as if they were kings of the savanna. They're probably arrogant, and we shouldn't have to put up with their smug preening any longer. This is why Far Cry 2 is such a catharsis.
Far Cry 2 lets you live out your wildest fantasy and take these ludicrous beasts down a peg or two. Whether you're smacking into their astonished faces with a righteously speeding jeep, or kissing them in the back of the head with a steel bullet that has most certainly been earned, Ubisoft makes sure you get your fill of zebra carnage. You might be able to knife one in the gut if you're quick enough. Wouldn't that be delightful?
Modern Warfare 2
Modern Warfare 2 was the subject of an incredibly heated controversy when it launched in 2009. Infinity Ward's latest blockbuster contained one of the most shocking, horrific and emotionally disturbing scenes of interactive terrorism that the world has ever witnessed. We are, of course, talking about the level where you have the choice to open fire on dozens and dozens of innocent chickens.
You heard me – chickens! This gruesome and tasteless scene, so soon after the nightmarish events depicted in the movie Chicken Run, stunned the gaming world to its very core. Some argued the chickens deserved it. We must admit that they shouldn't have been in the way, and if they happen to get themselves killed, we can only extend a limited sympathy.
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