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7 reasons GTA will give your DS a set of man balls

We've played GTA: Chinatown Wars and it's our new favourite game. Not just because it's accessible yet deep. Nor because it's got radio stations crammed onto the tiny DS cart. Not even because you can spell out words with the magnetic letters on the whiteboard in your safehouse. No, our biggest reason is because Nintendo's family-friendly handheld finally has something 18-rated on it. If ever a game was going to grow your DS a set of man balls, it's this. And here's why.

1) It's man size
Remember the islands from GTA IV? Well, scratch Alderney and you've got the Chinatown Wars map. No, we don't mean the approximate size of that area, actually the GTA IV map. We've been driving around a fully reproduced Broker, Bohan and Algonquin on a DS. In 3D.

While we didn't see the subway stations during our hands-on (we were too busy trying to lose the cops), above-ground looks spot-on. There are stalls and coloured bins on the pavement, straight out of GTA IV, and the roads are instantly recognisable. Do you remember laughing at a Chinese restaurant in GTA IV called 'Sum Yung Gai?' Well, that wasn't just comic street furniture – it belongs to Kenny, the uncle of your character Huang (pictured) and you'll be picking up several of your early missions there. This isn't a compromised GTA – it's simply GTA.

2) The touch screen is used for criminal activities
Every DS owner has used their stylus for too many cutesy minigames. Not so here. Instead, you'll be using it to smash the rear windshield of a car to get out when you're submerged in water, assembling a sniper rifle from the parts in a case and even to hotwire a car. Not to mention building your own molotovs at petrol stations or looking through bins for discarded weapons.

It doesn't feel like you're doing it all for the sake of it, either. Rockstar Leeds has gone to town with the DS' feature set, using it all in ways that arguably immerse you more in the experience than any other edition in the series. And we're promised that at no point in the game will you have to blow on the microphone to put out a candle. Phew.


Above: Loads of characters can be on-screen at once. All shooting at you

35 comments

  • oo7jenius - March 2, 2009 10:35 p.m.

    how much will it be
  • Stuffgamer1 - February 3, 2009 10:25 p.m.

    I had the same problem as "sharker" above. I click on "Why you'll be trading in your DS Lite for a DSi" in the e-mail newsletter, and I'm assaulted with THIS garbage (no offense to everybody who obviously wants this game, but I am EXTREMELY disinterested in GTA in general)!
  • dynomit272 - February 3, 2009 3:49 p.m.

    finally a GTA game for ds, like the idea about hotwiring and assembling weapons on the touchscreen
  • Pokemon_ftw - February 3, 2009 8:54 a.m.

    Finally the ds gets something good happen to it :) Rockstar literally rocks :)
  • sharker - February 2, 2009 8:01 p.m.

    what, the dsi article keeps linking to this
  • chaz09 - January 21, 2009 11:09 p.m.

    haha it kinda makes me want to buy a ds
  • nelfer320 - January 21, 2009 6:42 p.m.

    Looks okay but I still want a GTA for the Wii.
  • RebornKusabi - January 21, 2009 6:16 p.m.

    "Finally, us Asians get a chance at thug life in GTA xD Who's with me!? Anyone?" I am! Even though I'm white, I'm glad Rockstar is actually trying to use every culture and not just use a "Mighty Whitey" or "Black Thug" like every other game developer does in sandbox games. Now if they could just make a female main character... hey, Saints Row 2 showed just how goddamn evil a woman could be so I don't see why Rockstar couldn't!
  • iluvmyDS - January 21, 2009 6:03 p.m.

    I still think it's incredible that there is going to be a full-featured GTA game on DS that doesn't water down the style and feel of the series. I might even reserve this mofo.
  • darkmagshin - January 21, 2009 10:58 a.m.

    looks good to me... too bad i already sold my ds.
  • smallberry - January 21, 2009 5:33 a.m.

    ....8) It has tanks!
  • FancyRat - January 21, 2009 3:43 a.m.

    I wish Huang looked less like 'generic asian'... Niko didn't wear a fur hat and praise Lenin.
  • Moleman42 - January 21, 2009 2:52 a.m.

    Thank God, i can finally dust of my DS and play something again.
  • Comedz54 - January 21, 2009 1:58 a.m.

    Finally I get to use my DS after almost a year of dis use. So far it looks great, though it's GTA so I would have bought it anyway. :) Oh. and go bamb0o-stick.
  • Spinsterboy - January 21, 2009 1:32 a.m.

    It's about time Nintendo 'Used' the DS, for too long it's been sat on the shelf churning out mediocre titles, and 'training' us in all manor of things un gamelike, it looks like rockstar Leeds are pushing the envelope, they may not have found the edge, but it looks close....
  • bamb0o-stick - January 21, 2009 12:15 a.m.

    Finally, us Asians get a chance at thug life in GTA xD Who's with me!? Anyone?
  • Spike_the_Dogg - January 20, 2009 11:29 p.m.

    I am glad to see more hardcore games for the DS. reCAPTCHA: Presidential GLOOM
  • JollyCrisp - January 20, 2009 7:54 p.m.

    I cannot wait for this game!
  • creepychris - February 19, 2009 8:30 p.m.

    Can not wait for this game. Grand Theft Auto (Old School) with a twist and updated style to it. Simply amazing...
  • lyonsuteo - January 31, 2009 7:08 a.m.

    I will definitely get this game

Showing 1-20 of 35 comments

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