As part of last week's Gamescom coverage we were planning to run a daily photo diary. The intended purpose of the photo diary was to capture dynamic snap-shots from the show-floor as well as logging the journey of intrepid GamesRadar reporter Justin Towell. The 'idea phase' of the Gamescom photo diary was a complete success. Unfortunately this early promise did not carry over into the crucial 'implementation phase' and the Gamescom photo diary was cancelled. The primary reason for this being that while Justin has many talents, taking a half-decent photograph isn't one of them.
But rather than lament the loss of the Gamescom photo diary, we thought we'd polish the turd and use the photos anyway (along with some critical captioning courtesy of myself and Hooters). Because we're GamesRadar and that's what we do. Enjoy.
Here is Justin's non-alcoholic beverage relaxing in a despondently featureless and completely empty bar on the night before Justin departs for Gamescom. It doesn't get better than this. Seriously, it doesn't. It gets worse.
During our pre-Gamescom planning meeting, we told Justin to "take pictures of everything" for the photo diary. We didn't realise he was going to take us literally. Here is a corridor.
And here is a door handle.
Even if this is the most vaguely depressing and poorly framed 'continental breakfast' we've ever seen, it does set the scene for the imminent European adventure. Note: There are more pictures of food to come. Can you handle the excitement?
This is an airport. You may have seen something like it in the popular controversial computer game Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. However, unlike in Call of Duty, the people at this airport were not gunned down in cold-blood by Russian ultra-nationalists. Which on the one hand would be terrible, but on the other hand would have at least made the photo more interesting.
Classic finger-over-the-lens error from Justin here. Possibly caused by the disorientating rush of adrenaline often experienced by travellers when alighting an aeroplane. But he grabbed the picture as best he could under difficult conditions so we can at least partially share in the areas of the moment that are not obscured by finger.
Something actually gaming-related! It's Agent 47. From the side. And sort of behind him a bit. Also blurry.
Sleeping Dogs booth babe?
Gamescom is held in the German city of Cologne. It is a beautiful city with many beautiful things to see. It can be overwhelming to the first-time visitor upon arrival. What to see, what to see!? Wisely though, Justin prioritised this fence.
One of several attempts Justin made to photograph this historical German castle. In this one, the castle is behind a tree. This is the best of the photos of this castle.
The first Gamescom activity! Sort of, anyway. This is from a Hitman presentation elsewhere in Cologne the day before the show started. Notice how Justin has deftly and artistically expressed the brutal moral extremes of the Hitman games by taking a photo of a light screen in a dark room and thus completely busting up the contrast in this photo. Also, see how hes made sure that the Hitman logo is barely visible, just like a disguised and sneaking Agent 47 him-very-self.
There are few things more exciting that a platform-holder press conference. Perhaps nothing, thought Justin, except taking photos of strangers awkwardly trying to find their names on the accreditation list on the way in
And photos of ones wrist-band, obviously. Ones plain, unbranded, run-of-the-mill wrist-band.
Well get to the actual show floor soon, we promise.
But first, a seat cushion. Show floor soon, we promise.
Apparently Justin was eager to document the absolute first glimpse of the show floor. This is it. We wish hed waited for the second, or maybe the fourth or fifth.
This hilariously ironic photo of a tractor simulator would be great if we could see any of the people, or in fact much of much going on on-screen.
Ditto this photo of LittleBigPlanet Karting
And this photo of The Unfinished Swan.
So much stuff going on, none of it interesting.
Look! Sonic!
Where!?
Right at the back of that really boring photo
The only thing Justin likes more than grimy concrete overpasses is vast and pointless expanses of sky.
Even better than the fact that every member of this slightly dejected-looking cosplay crew is looking in a completely different direction is the fact that the only person actually looking at the camera in this photo is the guy in the background whos just awkwardly spotted it.
Right, fear not. It's time for the booth babes.
Gloomily-lit booth babe #1
Gloomily-lit booth babe #2
Blurry booth babe #1
Gloomily-lit booth babes #3 and #4, and random gloomily-lit journalist #1
Zombabes are blurry from behind.
And also, it seems, blurry from the front. If only Justin could have confirmed or disproved their side-on blurriness, his research would be complete.
Justins bed. For some reason. It looks like its made out of ghosts or Ku Klux Klansmen. Maybe thats the reason.
This church is probably a beautiful, striking and dramatic piece of architecture when it isnt just a silhouette.
Someone probably thought this poster was funny. Someone other than Justin, we mean.
The general public. Often not very interesting, particularly when standing in front of grey things.
Still, this is the penultimate photo in this cavalcade of moribundity, which means that soon youll have sweet, merciful release from this torment without the need for that bullet to the head youve been considering for the last six or seven photos. Just one more to go now, and as an extra special treat its an exciting shot through the plane window on Justins journey back.
Well it should have been exciting, but inevitably he took it before the plane had taken off. While aiming his camera simultaneously at a faceless airport building and some concrete.
This time next year, guys, right!?