J is for... Jazz Jackrabbit
Remember the story of the tortoise and the hare? You know the one, where the two race and the slow-and-steady tortoise wins because the rabbit is a lazy asshole? Well, what if you extrapolated that out, set it in the distant future, made the rabbit green, and gave it a big ray gun? Enter Jazz Jackrabbit, a cocksure hare on a mission to rescue fair maiden Eva Earlong from the villainous Devan Shell (who is the tortoise in this equation).
Jazz was celebrated for bringing high-speed action platforming to PC, which was a rarity in those days. Users ate it up and the game earned itself a sequel starring Jazz's hyperactive brother, Spazz, as a playable character. Years later, a completely-out-of-nowhere reboot for Jazz Jackrabbit was released on the GBA, and promptly died a silent death. Jazz has not been seen nor heard from since.
Last known whereabouts: Jazz Jackrabbit (2002)
K is for... Ken Masters
If you want to put on your serious cap and argue that Ryu is more of a mascot than Ken for Street Fighter II, then you're already taking this feature way too seriously. Sure, Ryu has enjoyed more face time over the years, but Ken Masters packs way more attitude than the rest of the original roster by far. He's got that fiery red gi, shaggy head of hair, and can set a dude on fire with his fists. How is he not already your favorite character?
Ken is also the lifelong friend and eternal rival of series mainstay, Ryu. But while Ryu grew up to be a sort-of weird homeless person who traveled the world beating people up, Ken decided to take Guile's advice and return home and become a family man. He still competes on the side, but is also happily married to his wife, Eliza. Hey, having a stable, healthy relationship and balanced lifestyle is rad too, you know.
Last known whereabouts: Ultra Street Fighter IV (2013)
L is for... Liu Kang
Mortal Kombat mainstay Liu Kang has a claim to fame no other mascots on this list can make: he was a real person. In the first two MK games, Liu Kang was "played" by Korean-American actor and martial artist Ho-Sung Pak. He was then touched up a bit to get him a little more of that signature Bruce Lee, shaolin monk thing going on.
Kang is sort of the Ryu of the Mortal Kombat roster. He's one of the easier and more straightforward characters to use, but that doesn't mean he's lacking in radness. Bicycle kicks. Fireballs. And let's not forget he was eventually able to transform into a freaking dragon and gobble people up as one of his fatalities. From Mortal Kombat II onwards Liu Kang was, and still is, an all-around badass. As for the original MK, well, he was just the boring guy no one ever picked.
Last known whereabouts: Mortal Kombat (2011)
M is for... Michelangelo
What the hell? Where's Mario? Surely you can't have a list of gaming mascots without the king of kings, lord of lords, Super Mario? Well as a matter of fact, you can, and I just proved it. Consider this: when thinking about who has more totally-tubular, radically-radical, in-your-face baditude, who leaps to mind first: Mario or Michelangelo ('90s youth culture's first exposure to a stoner)? Yeah, the choice is obvious.
Michelangelo and the rest of the ninja turtles were the hottest of hot commodities throughout the late '80s to early '90s. There were videos games, comics, cartoons, toys, and so much more. If you were under the age of, say, 45 you basically couldn't get through the day without seeing one of these heroes in a half shell. So what makes Mikey so special? Well Leo was stoic, Raph was angry, Don was a nerd, and Mikey... he was radical, man. Cowabunga!
Last known whereabouts: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Danger of the Ooze (2014)
N is for... Nights
Nights into Dreams was a bizarre journey into the realm of three-dimensional flight by Sonic Team. It starred Nights, a purple dream jester whose entire purpose in life was flying through magic hoops. Even so, the character still had a bewildering amount of backstory. From the game's Wikipedia page, "Nights is a Nightmaren created by Wizeman to steal Red Ideya; however, Nights betrays Wizeman and is sealed in the Ideya Palace until Elliot or Claris Dualizes with them to get the Ideya back." What?
It's a plotline that's just as outrageous as Night's fashion sense, and that's saying a lot. The jolly dream jester's work attire falls somewhere between medieval clown and captain Jack Sparrow. It's not exactly the sort of outfit I'd go for when facing down a dark wizard, but what the outfit lacks in protection and practicality, it certainly makes up for with attitude. And isn't that what's most important?
Last known whereabouts: Nights: Journey of Dreams (2007)
O is for... Olaf
It really is a shame we don't have more video games about Vikings. They're so ripe for exploitation: their seafaring adventures, Norse mythology, and propensity for putting axes in people's face just screams third-person action adventure. Instead, the most recent gaming Viking I can think of comes from Civilization V's Harald Bluetooth (who can be a real sonofabitch). But old Bluetooth doesn't have anything on Olaf. You'll recognize him in the Lost Vikings lineup as the one who has his helmet pulled down over his eyes - because being able to see is for chumps.
Olaf is an all-around cool dude, and definitely the most helpful of the three. He could use his shield as a sort of hang glider or as a stepping stone for other characters to climb over. There's also that mighty beard, which probably could have just replaced that wooden shield as Olaf's source of protection. It was even powerful enough to earn the trio a second game.
Last known whereabouts: The Lost Vikings 2 (1997)
P is for... Pimple
"I may not be smart, but when brain power fails, brute force prevails!" Such inspirational words came courtesy of one of the '90s brightest stars, Pimple. That's right, a giant, muscular, human-sized toad-man who beats up mutants and was named Pimple. I sure do miss the '90s. And let's not forget Pimple had two teammates, Zitz and Rash (note the use of the "z" at the end of Zitz's name, that's next level).
Pimple (the one with cymbals for hands) began his life as mild-mannered computer technician George Pie, who later was transported into a video game world and morphed into a battletoad, because why the hell not? What more explanation could you possibly need? He is the largest of the three 'toads and sports the biggest chin, which obviously makes him the best. Considering how 'roided out he is, you'd think Pimple would have more of an acne problem, but I guess that would've been too on the nose.
Last known whereabouts: Battletoads (arcade, 1994)
Q is for... Queen of Blades
'Rad' isn't the first thing that jumps to mind when thinking about the Queen of Blades - terrifying, frustrating, and 'Is her hair an alien?' are far more common. However, the StarCraft franchise's on-again, off-again supervillain does have a certain sassy confidence about her that highlights just how fun commanding an all-consuming, alien swarm can be. She may sow death and destruction across the galaxy, but she always does so with a smile.
The great and powerful Queen of Blades was originally known by another name: Sarah Kerrigan. Kerrigan fought alongside her fellow revolutionaries in the Sons of Korhal against the Confederacy of Man, until her boss - Arcturus Mengsk - decided to leave her for dead against an overwhelming Zerg force. But instead of ending up dead, Kerrigan eventually became the queen of all Zerg. Needless to say, this whole thing really backfired on old Mengsk.
Last known whereabouts: Heroes of the Storm (2015)
R is for... Rocky Rodent
Rocky Rodent was nearly the most reprehensible of all mid-'90s Sonic knock-offs. In a misguided attempt to attain the elusive holy grail of edgy attitude, he was designed to look like a slavering street corner crackhead. He used his obligatory running speed for the noble purpose of escaping from restaurants without paying, and he only agreed to save the damsel in exchange for an all-you-can-eat buffet. Seriously?
And did I neglect to mention his entire power-up system revolved around the use of increasingly "rad" hairstyles? For example, one looked like a metallic throwing-axe which Rocky could use as a projectile weapon. Another fun fact: most rodents have two sharp incisors in the upper jaw. If Rocky was a real rodent and kept lolling his tongue out, chances are he would have bitten it off long ago - which would have been hilarious to watch.
Last known whereabouts: Rocky Rodent (1993)
S is for... Sonic
This is it. The grandfather of radness himself, Sonic the Hedgehog, without whom this feature (and subsequently an entire decade of anthropomorphized animal mascots) wouldn't exist. Sonic is the alpha and omega of '90s gaming mascots. He jump-started a new wave of 'edgy' character designs that tapped into youth culture the world over, and for a time found more fame and success than anyone else on this list.
Sonic was the original 'Mario-killer', hand-crafted and focus-tested to be the antithesis of Nintendo's fat, Italian plumber. Across all his different games, movies, comics, and cartoons, Sonic is the only one here to reach TMNT-levels of media saturation. Sadly, the years have not been kind to the blue rodent. An ever-growing list of terrible friends, questionable redesigns, and downright bad games have dragged Sonic's reputation through the mud... before lighting it on fire and booting it off a cliff.
Last known whereabouts: Sonic Boom: Rise of Lyric (2014)
