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  1. Games
  2. RPG
  3. Mass Effect
  4. Mass Effect 3

Whisper it... The dark secrets of your favourite game characters

Features
By Samuel James Riley published 24 April 2014

When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. Here’s how it works.

Can you keep a secret?

Can you keep a secret?

Human beings love a good secret, and why shouldnt they? Knowledge is power, and true power is knowing just which one of your friends bawled during the ending of Toy Story 3 (answer: all of them). Unfortunately, we--as a species--are also wired up to blab about every single speck of info that somehow ends up in our brains. We're a social species: a gossip-dropping clan of second-stage apes with nothing better to do, and that's exactly how we like it.

Luckily, sites like Whisper handily allow users to vent their pent-up hysterics with total anonymity. After spending hours gawping at the depraved secrets of others on Whisper, it occurred to me that plenty of video game characters could do with that service. So, with that in mind, I've decided to give the most troubled pixelsacks an opportunity to blow off some steam. Totally anonymously, obviously.

Page 1 of 18
Page 1 of 18
Like a boss

Like a boss

Page 2 of 18
Page 2 of 18
Hair care...

Hair care...

Page 3 of 18
Page 3 of 18
Squeak's dreams

Squeak's dreams

Page 4 of 18
Page 4 of 18
Solar power

Solar power

Page 5 of 18
Page 5 of 18
Ass effect

Ass effect

Page 6 of 18
Page 6 of 18
Don't know Jak

Don't know Jak

Page 7 of 18
Page 7 of 18
Other brother

Other brother

Page 8 of 18
Page 8 of 18
Snake in the grass

Snake in the grass

Page 9 of 18
Page 9 of 18
Tekken the piss

Tekken the piss

Page 10 of 18
Page 10 of 18
Pocket money

Pocket money

Page 11 of 18
Page 11 of 18
Fatality!

Fatality!

Page 12 of 18
Page 12 of 18
Metal smear

Metal smear

Page 13 of 18
Page 13 of 18
Body check

Body check

Page 14 of 18
Page 14 of 18
Safety first

Safety first

Page 15 of 18
Page 15 of 18
Fus-ro-doh

Fus-ro-doh

Page 16 of 18
Page 16 of 18
Here to fix the fridge

Here to fix the fridge

Page 17 of 18
Page 17 of 18
Care to share?

Care to share?

A wise man once said: "there's nothing quite like airing your dirty laundry in public, especially when that laundry contains one too many mysterious brown stains". Of course, I may just have fabricated that last quote in order to give you a sense of closure, but meh, I'm pretty sure you bought it. The harsh truth is that the world needs secrets. Without them all of our favourite puzzle games would be little more than glossy, overpriced drinks coasters. And that's not a world any of us want to imagine.

Leave your comments below, or something. Want more secretive secrets? Here's the 100 Best Easter Eggs Of All Time, and another feature on the Best First-Screen Secrets Ever.

Page 18 of 18
Page 18 of 18
CATEGORIES
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Samuel James Riley
Samuel James Riley
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When he's not busy saving small animals from dangerous brush fires, Sam enjoys writing about the weird world of video games. All-time favourites include Half-Life 2, Knights of the Old Republic, GTA: Vice City and Final Fantasy 10. Last year, Sam finally succeeded in besting Rayman 1 for PlayStation, leaving his life utterly without meaning.
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