As if regular journalism wasn't enough...
We're going to be at Gamescom 2013 this week to bring you all the most important news, previews and observations from the show floor. If you're not sure why you should be excited for Gamescom, then read Dave Houghton's article Why you're going to LOVE Gamescom 2013. Dave will be attending the show, but we've got something extra for him to do.
While he's attending appointments, conferences and sampling the delights of Cologne in the summertime, we want him to take some pictures. Not just of anything, but rather a list of scavenger hunt-style items. The following slides will list the things we want him to snap, then we'll publish the results of his attempt when he returns to good ol' Blighty. So what do we want him to find? Let's take a look...
A selfie with a famous game developer
A 'selfie', in case you're unfamiliar with the term, is a picture you take of yourself. Favoured by attention-seeking individuals who always post them on Facebook with the caption 'Oh god, I look awful', hoping someone will say 'nah, you look hot!', selfies are at least easy to take when you're short on time.
But we want Dave to take a selfie with his mug next to that of a famous game developer. Who might it be? Cliffy B? Hideo Kojima? Satoru Iwata? Obviously it's unlikely to happen if said games industry luminaries aren't actually *at* Gamescom, but there's bound to be someone ready to pose for a quick pic. Who can Dave get?
A photo with at least 200 people in it
Sounds hard, doesn't it? Surely everybody's going to be tucked away in booths or obscured by the various stands on the showfloor. Not to mention the fact most of the public halls are very dark.
However, once the show opens to the public, this should be a doddle. There's one hallway in particular which gets so jam packed with people, it can takes ten minutes to move ten metres. The question, really, is whether Dave can withstand the heat and aroma of hundreds of gamers long enough to get his shot away. It burns! It burns!
A cosplay picture that could be a screenshot from Dead Rising
Remember Dead Rising and it's photography feature? That was awesome. With all the cosplaying going on at Gamescom, it really shouldn't be too difficult to take a picture that could be a scene from that game, especially with all the elevators and large windows that Koelnmesse features.
Just for a laugh, we may also grade Dave's submissions with a similar PP system to that of the game. Bonuses for gore, drama and erotica, anyone? We're sure Dave's up to the task. After all, he's covered virtual wars, you know.
A picture of the hardware running a next-gen game
Interesting one, this. We want a photo of whatever hardware is running a real-time demo of a next-gen game. Of course, what we really want to see is a genuine, real-life Xbox One or PlayStation 4 purring along underneath a nice big HD TV, but the reality will likely be a PC dev kit, even at this late stage.
Either way, it'll be quite the covert operation to catch a picture of the thing in action. We sincerely hope Dave doesn't get chucked out of Gamescom because he was trying to take pictures of embargoed devices. But if he doesn't... well, we may just see a real PS4 or Xbox One running a game for the first time. We can but hope.
A drunk or hungover PR rep
We're not suggesting at all that our friends in the public relations industry go out and get drunk. Not at all. In fact, this is clearly a trick entry and one that can never be completed. It's the equivalent of the 'Smile' achievement in Geometry Wars. Something you've heard can happen, but have never seen with your own eyes.
But just in case someone does have a bit too much of the old silly juice, we want a picture of the suffering.
An outlandish-looking gaming peripheral
We want to see something even more outrageous than this MadCatz M.M.O.-7 gaming mouse. It can be anything at all, whether mouse, keyboard, controller or plastic add-on for a Wii-mote, just so long as it can be used with a current or future gaming system.
Dave should be attending the MadCatz party, so we have high hopes for this one.
A picture of someone in a Sonic Suit
This shouldn't be too hard to get. Even if there isn't an official Sonic walking around the show floor near either Sega or Nintendo's press area (yes, it weird to say that), there is going to be a 'cosplay village' where surely, surely someone will be dressed as ol' bluey.
And just to prove that it isn't yours truly inside all Sonic suits, this picture is me *with* Sonic at the Summer of Sonic a couple of years ago. He was totally thrilled to meet me.
A piece of gaming merchandise on sale for more than 100 Euros
There is a tonne of amazing games-related merchandise both on display and on sale at Gamescom. This picture is just one display from last year's amazing selection. Some of it will also only be available from behind-closed-doors press events, like the amazing 'Final Fan-tasy' handheld battery fan that Naoki Yoshida was handing out at last year's show.
But we want to see evidence of a really expensive piece of merchandise. Something so awesome it has to be locked up in a cabinet. Like this one. It must be possible.
A German word that sounds rude in English
Yes, this is very childish, but there's still plenty of potential for awesomeness, thanks to street signs, show information pamphlets and anything on posters around Cologne. Basically nothing less than the best will do.
And obviously, it has to be better than 'fahrt'.
A photo of someone genuinely enjoying a motion-sensing game
This picture was taken at Gamescom 2012 and wouldn't qualify for two reasons. Firstly, the people in it are wearing branded T-shirts and therefore have been paid to play the game in question and look like they're enjoying it. Secondly, they don't look like they're enjoying it.
So we want visual evidence of someone actually enjoying a motion-sensitive game. It can be on Kinect, PlayStation Eye or Wii U/Wiimote. Just so long as there's waggle or flailing involved and people are genuinely loving it. It can't be that hard to get... can it?
What do you want to see?
Dave is at Gamescom RIGHT NOW, but we can still amend the list if there's something better you want to see him get a picture of. So tell us in the comments and maybe, if he's got time, he'll find it for you.
Want more? Then check out our list of Gamescom 2013 articles, which we'll be updating as the show progresses. Or you could always look at how not to take pictures at Gamescom with the 33 absolute worst photos from Gamescom 2012.