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Johnny English Reborn
The Poster: Not the most offensive on this list by a long chalk, but nevertheless, this is a monumentally bland offering. Then again, if you’re off to a film that was based on an advert, maybe bland is your bag.
Worst Detail: The random bits of flame that appear to be singeing Johnny’s tux.
Hugo
The Poster: Whilst the alternative poster showed Asa Butterfield dangling from the hands of a vast golden clock face, this is just a big old key. A nice key, sure, but a key nonetheless.
Worst Detail: The absence of any other detail, asides from the key. What in God’s name is this about, you may well ask…
Paranormal Activity 3
The Poster: Hmm, this one looks familiar doesn’t it? Almost as if we’ve seen it before… on two separate occasions.
Worst Detail: The fact that it’s exactly the bloody same as the last two entries in the franchise. It might be too much fuss to come up with a new plot, but they could at least freshen the poster up a bit!
Main Street
The Poster: An ensemble piece in which half the cast appear to be being devoured by a ravenous white mist.
Worst Detail: We’d like to say Orlando’s hideous ‘tache, but it’s the clumsily placed title sign that takes the prize. Honourable mention goes to the names of the cast colliding with Firth’s coif.
Just Go With It
The Poster: Adam Sandler attaches himself to another pair of improbably attractive women, this time in the form of Jennifer Aniston and Brooklyn Decker. Take one look at this poster. You’ve now seen the film.
Worst Detail: Sandler’s cheeky “I’m one of the lads, me” smirk. Somebody give that man a slap.
Cowboys And Aliens
The Poster: Having already released an enigmatic and moody poster in which Daniel Craig stood facing away from the camera, Universal undid all their good work with this dull production still!
Worst Detail: The ultra-bland font for the title. It’s difficult to make the words “Cowboys And Aliens” look boring, and yet…
Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol
The Poster: Of all the possible ways to promote one of the most action-packed event movies of the year, surely Paramount could have come up with something better than Tom Cruise scowling out of a hoody?
Worst Detail: The sandstorm that appears to be obscuring his co-stars. No mistaking who’s the star of this film, eh Tom?
Big Mommas: Like Father Like Son
The Poster: Also a contender for worst title of the year, the sequel nobody wanted gets an equally unloveable poster. Urgh.
Worst Detail: The despairing look in Lawrence’s eyes as he ponders whether or not the fat-suit is still funny. Not to worry Martin, it’s as amusing now as it ever was…
The Dilemma
The Poster: Kevin James is smiling, Vince Vaughn is not. From that information, Universal expects you to surmise that James’ wife is cheating on him and Vaughn is wrestling with whether or not to tell him. Clear as day, isn’t it?
Worst Detail: Vaughn’s heavily re-touched face looks even more reptilian than usual.
Jack And Jill (Mexican)
The Poster: As if the American one wasn’t bad enough, Mexican audiences were treated to this monstrosity. Who likes zany jet-skiing twins then? Good, well come and watch this…
Worst Detail: We’d point out the terrible perspective issues, but it’s the cloying wackiness of this one that really gets us. Katie Holmes’ “lobotomise me now” expression says it all.
Larry Crowne
The Poster: Middle age doesn’t have to be boring! Look at these two twinkly-eyed souls, falling in love and riding a scooter like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Oh no wait, it looks effing tragic.
Worst Detail: The accentuated “Tom” and “Julia” of the two stars’ names. Oh hey it’s Tom and Julia! We know them from all those movies. We’ll probably like this one! Unbearably pleased with itself.
Big Mommas: Like Father Like Son (French)
The Poster: Lord almighty, this is one of those images you’d pay good money to have scrubbed from your memory. Martin Lawrence dressed as a fat woman won’t cut it any more, apparently. Now he has to look like Lady Gaga as well. Hell in a handcart…
Worst Detail: We’re not sure what expression Lawrence is going for here, but we don’t like it.
X-Men: First Class (Magneto Teaser)
The Poster: It genuinely beggars belief that this cut and paste one-sheet was actually released to promote one of the biggest films of the summer. Wherever Marvel are finding their designers, they should start looking elsewhere...
Worst Detail: The fact that Fassbender’s face is staring out of Magneto’s gut. Why?
