Ted Raimi As Every Monster
Sam Raimi's long suffering brother, Ted, has played loads of parts over the course of the franchise - including Evil Dead 2 's demonic geriatric, Henrietta. It's a well loved tradition and not one the reboot should break. We'd like to see Ted play every significant monster, please.
No-Nonsense Shemping
Shemping: Sam Raimi's affectionate term for actors who double for absent leads, usually in the background covered in make-up and an awful wig. Adhering to the tradition will make us feel right at home in the murky waters of a series reboot.
Buckets Of Corn Syrup
Evil Dead has never been coy with blood and guts. The second movie saw Ash literally hosed with multicoloured corn syrup and it's just that level of ridiculous violence that we want from this one. We know just the man for the job...
Greg Nicotero On Special Effects
Greg Nicotero is an FX legend and proprietor of one mighty fine beard. He's worked on two Evil Dead movies so far and is practically unrivalled in his field. Apart from Tom Savini, there's no one else who could craft such incredible make-up and monster effects. Sam - make that call now...
Don't Fear The POV
What's scarier than a POV shot? Well, a lot of things, but not the kind you get in Evil Dead . Lurking, deadly, roaring like a motorcycle engine... the unseen evil stalks its victims with unstoppable force and - best - we get to see everything through its own eyes. It's a staple of the series and deserves to make a terrifying return.
Brandon Routh As Replacement Ash
Ok, hear us out... We know he was about as emotive as a fossilised turd in Superman Returns but his hilarious turns in both Zack & Miri Make A Porno and Scott Pilgrim vs. The World have convinced us that Routh is packing plenty of charisma underneath that pretty-boy surface. He'd be the ideal, chisel-cheekboned Ash 2.0.
Campbell As A 'Mr Miyagi' Figure
Picture it... A cantankerous Bruce Campbell reluctantly passes the torch to a new hero, tutoring him in general badassery along the way - including the invaluable skill of how to produce infinite shotgun shells from the inside of your shirt pocket.
Deadites En Masse
It just wouldn't be Evil Dead without trademark villains the Deadites. But we want more! Hordes and hordes of undead creatures and possessed hillbillies! The likes of Walking Dead have - brilliantly - made zombies serious. It's the job of Evil Dead movies to keep it cartoonish.
Killer One-Liners
Potentially iconic quips need a lot of crafting, but the Evil Dead series is full of them. Over three movies, Ash has used pithy one-liners to woo the ladies ("Gimme some sugar, baby!") lay the smackdown ("Suck on this!") and ventriloquise ("Workshed..."). We expect nothing less from the reboot. Maybe bring in Shane Black as script editor...
Shop S-Mart
An isolated cabin in the woods, a haunted graveyard, a medieval castle... All locations Ash has visited during his fight with the nefarious Deadites. But it's the ending of Army of Darkness that promises the best location for the new movie. ("Shop smart, shop S-Mart!")
More Humour, More Scares
Evil Dead is famous/notorious for its saucy blend of chilling scares and screwy humour – epitomised in Ash's early trademark monobrow. This one should be no different - an equal-measure helping of shock and schlock. No tone reinventions, please.
Free Reign For Federico Alvarez
Federico Alvarez is the plucky young upstart set to direct. Alvarez has only made shorts up until now but the guy's got chops – just watch his impressive 2009 giant robot indie Panic Attack! for proof. Raimi shouldn't be shy of letting his protege show us something new and give Evil Dead 4 his own personal touch.
