4 PAINKILLER JANE
22 episodes • 2007 • SCI FI
SCI FI had tried once before to turn Jimmy Palmiotti and Joe Quesada’s comic book into a TV show. That incarnation never got past a pilot, but sadly this second attempt made it to an entire lousy series. Thank God the show didn’t have its heroine’s penchant for immortality.
Over 22 dreary episodes of derivative, cheesy, badly acted dross, this was a show for which average was something to aspire to.
Former Terminator Kristanna Loken was severely miscast as resurrection girl Jane, displaying less emotion than a cyborg and delivering moany “it’s hard being immortal” voiceovers with all the passion of the speaking clock. It was never easy to sympathise as she tracked down rogue “Neuros” (they’re like X-Men mutants, except they do it with their minds), but at least she was more likeable and convincing than the rest of her tick-all-the-boxes team.
Alaina Huffman must celebrate the day her character was unexpectedly killed off, which has to be one of the best things ever to happen to her – she’s now a regular on Stargate Universe.
The nadir: “Thanks For The Memories” – a clip show just 16 episodes into the series that wraps itself up with a Dallas-style “it was all a dream!” conclusion. It also feature’s Jane’s pre-coital declaration that: “"I suppose I'll have to start thinking about making that next generation a reality some day. But right now, I just want to practise. A lot." Eugghh!
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