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The Worst Celebrity Renders of All Time

Fun Fact #1: This adaptation of Labyrinth was released solely in Japan.
Fun Fact #2: The Japanese believe David Bowie is the devil.

Contestant, your answer is... "shit."
You can probably figure out the question.


Keanu Reeves spent most of the '80s and early '90s on the same magnitude of dorkiness as professional doofuses like Pauly Shore and Howie Mandel. So we shouldn't be at all surprised when he looks silly in Bill & Ted's Excellent Video

Game Adventure for NES. (Thanks for including "Video Game" in the title, by the way. How would we have possibly known otherwise?)

That said, he looks extremely silly in the montage above. Way beyond the Paulyand Howie scale, and more along the lines of a Renaissance Faire reject. To be accurate, a crappy xerox of a Renaissance Faire reject.

Anyone who's played the original Tony Hawk game remembers how friggin' difficult it is to get the skater to turn directly towards the camera. Now we can finally see why. When your face has rearranged itself four times in four seconds, you might want to call a doctor. If you're the real Tony Hawk, you might want to call a lawyer. That degree of ugly should be actionable.

Sure, this Darkman screen kinda resembles Liam Neeson... if Liam Neeson rubbed his face off with an electric sander, injected bee pollen into his lips and took daily dips in a backyard oil well.

Yeah, other than that, we totally see it.


Remember that contest we teased at the beginning of the article? Because the screens above match so perfectly, our first idea was to ask readers to spot all the horrifying differences between the real Back to the Future Part III and the Sega Genesis version. Then we realized that number was somewhere in the gazillions and decided to scale back our competition to something in the actual realm of possibility.

Speaking of which...

You're now just one page away from our Worst Celebrity Renders contest! If you've been paying close enough attention throughout this list, and if you'd like to win a free game of your choosing,headto the next page for all the details and rules. Good luck!

I enjoy sunshine, the company of kittens and turning frowns upside down. I am also a fan of sarcasm. Let's be friends!