1. Start with the sizzle
The Baroness (Sienna Miller) makes her big entrance. Well, boys who like toys like girls too, right? 'Cept she's evil. Evil!
2. Bring on (one of) the bad guys
James McCullen/Destro (Christpher Eccleston) monologues. "When I'm finished... The world will never forget."
3. Tower down!
Oooh... the rotter! He's used acid to topple the Eiffel Tower! Anyone else getting flashbacks to Team America? "Hey terrorist... Terrorise this!"
4. The order's given
Dennis Quaid's General Hawk, interrupted during a marathon Eastenders viewing session in his private screening room, sends word to assemble his team.
5. Sound off!
Ripcord (Marlon Wayans) gets everyone in line.
6. Power suit up!
Two of our heroes show off their flashy power armour as they jump through a bus. Again we get Team America feelings. It's a cool shot, though. And we get the start of Duke (Channing Tatum)'s hero spiel... "Technically, we don't exist..."
7. Baroness loves gunplay
Told you she was evil. Here she is leading Cobra Troopers on an assault. "We answer to no one," says Duke.
8. Hairy situation
Scarlett (Rachel Nichols) and Breaker ( Said Taghmaoui) escape a dangerous situation. "And when all else fails..." continues Duke...
9. Line up
And here's your Right Stuff homage of the week. ("We don't.")
10. Ninja fight!
Baddie Storm Shadow and hero Snake Eyes square off.
11. Snake Eyes jumps it
The trailer wraps up with Snake Eyes running up, then jumping over, a crashing car. Nifty.