Forget babalities. These are the new finishers Mortal Kombat X REALLY needs


Player One accepts the blame for the whole silly argument, and the two 'kompetitors' skip off into the sunset.


Player One forgets why he came here, and what exactly he was doing. Player Two begins humming the tune to 'A long way to Tipperary'.


Player One tears open Player two's abdomen, revealing a badly swollen appendix. Player Two has it promptly removed, and everyone goes for ice cream.




Player One pays Player Two a heartfelt complement. They hug it out.


Player One reveals to Player Two why he cannot perform a babality.


Player One recalls that time Player Two asked how many quarters there were in a basketball game, much to the amusement of the assembled 'kast' of 'kharacters'. Player Two slowly ambles off home for a good cry.


Player One arranges a marriage for Player Two, despite the fact that Player Two definitely, properly loves someone else. Probably someone lowborn yet dashing. It's the plotline to every period drama ever made. But with more spines.


Player One smugly lectures Player Two on the benefits of going green. Player Two opts to compost himself.


Referees rush the stage to announce that Player Two is wearing the wrong sort of shoe grips, or friendship bracelets, or maybe underpants, and is therefore disqualified.

Samuel James Riley
When he's not busy saving small animals from dangerous brush fires, Sam enjoys writing about the weird world of video games. All-time favourites include Half-Life 2, Knights of the Old Republic, GTA: Vice City and Final Fantasy 10. Last year, Sam finally succeeded in besting Rayman 1 for PlayStation, leaving his life utterly without meaning.