SFX Spurious Awards Of The Week 4

Jared Padalecki’s bottom, Morena Baccarin’s metal tongue, X-rated mugs and a whole lot more…

X-RATED MUGS OF THE WEEK
Maybe not the tea set to use when the vicar comes round. The actual mugs come uncensored. But wouldn’t it be great if they came censored but then the real words appeared when hot tea was put inside? Available from Titan Merchandise .

MOST EXCITING OPENING LINE OF THE WEEK
“I recently took my bubble jet printer into an authorised repairer...” From Look Who’s Talking , a collection of Sixth Doctor Colin Baker’s columns for his local paper.

MYTHBUSTER OF THE WEEK
Remember that famous scene in 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea with the giant squid attacking the Nautilus? Complete bobbins, according to “I’ ve done my research” party pooper China Miéville . In his latest book, Kraken (or, One Of Our Giant Squid Is Missing as it really should ha ve been called) he points out that because of the low pressure of the water near the sea’s surface, giant squid are actually rather lethargic and useless if they pop their tentacles abo ve water. So the one in the Disney film should ha ve been a sitting duck. (The book’s great by the way…)

APRIL FOOL OF THE WEEK
We just love this!

BEST OJ SIMPSON IMPRESSION OF THE WEEK
Cylon girl Zoe goes on the run from the law in a very faithful recreation of the most famous car chase in history – albeit one played back at slightly higher speed than the rather sedate real world chase.

Dave is a TV and film journalist who specializes in the science fiction and fantasy genres. He's written books about film posters and post-apocalypses, alongside writing for SFX Magazine for many years.