Puff quotes of doom

On Viva Pinata Party Animals

"Viva Pinata Party Animals will keep your living room buzzing for hours on end."

Like a dryer finishing its cycle... for hours on end.

On Xbox 360

"Xbox 360 is the most powerful video game console on the planet."

"Xbox 360 is the destination for every member of the family."

"This year, Xbox 360 will have the greatest holiday lineup in videogame history."

So, you're doing well. We can't deny it, and in fact enjoy it. Is there any reason to be so pompous about it?

On Midway's holiday lineup

"This is Midway's most diverse and strongest line up yet."

Considering last year was Mortal Kombat and Happy Feet, we're forced to agree.

On Beautiful Katamari

"Marking the debut of Namco’s beloved ball-rolling puzzle game on a next-generation platform, Beautiful Katamari, the fourth installment of the Katamari series, features levels of quirkiness, cosmic animations and musical stylings never seen before."

Thanks to the Xbox 360's Quirk Engine processor, no doubt.

On Europe's PS3 "Starter Pack" bundle

"The choice of first party games available in the Starter Pack will vary to suit the interests of entertainment enthusiasts in each country, but will include million sellers such as Resistance Fall of Man and MotorStorm; titles specifically chosen to demonstrate the stunning graphics and enhanced gameplay of High Definition games on Blu-ray disc."

Note: In the UK, it actually includes Resistance and... Genji.

On the Wii Zapper

"This unit houses both a Wii Remote and a Nunchuk and comes packaged with Nintendo software to show off its applications. Third-party developers have multiple games in the pipeline that will use this dynamic new interface."

Nothing inspires excitement like a vague promise of "Nintendo software." And nothing says "dynamic" like acrappy piece of plastic.

On Windows Vista

"Windows Vista has rapidly been embraced as Microsoft’s best version of Windows ever for gaming."

We decided to ask a well-respected, hardcore PC fan his opinion. Response? "That’s a bunch of bullshit." That's a better quote.