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When Baldur's Gate 3's long awaited final batch of content launched last week, I had grand plans for Patch 8. Namely, to test out all 12 of the new subclasses in a single playthrough. But when I sat down to finally boot the game up, my cursor drifted from the New Game button to find solace somewhere familiar yet distant. I ended up loading into an earlier save point in my first ever adventure, dated August 17 2023.
Countless Baldur's Gate 3 playthroughs and myriad Tavs later, monk-gone-wild Sweetling remains my favorite little menace. As the captain of my maiden voyage, a 65-hour test drive of the then-new Baldur's Gate 3 Dark Urge archetype and Monk class that had been added to the RPG at launch, she is also woefully mis-specced. Two years later, I'm righting the wrongs of my naive past with the homebrewed chaos of Patch 8, turning my Dark Urge into a grog-swilling Drunken Master on a date with a wannabe archdevil.
Drink up
I begin my quest of righteous Bhaalist boozing shortly after opening the gates to Raphael's House of Hope. At this point in my 2023 adventure, Sweetling has accepted her father's bloody inheritance, allowed Astarion to become the Vampire Ascendant, and aided in the kidnapping of a certain Selunite cleric.
After all these atrocities and with more still to come, I reflect, her blackened soul is already bound for the Hells. Why not chug some ale and bring the party to Avernus early? But first, I know she'll have to look (and play) the part. I abandon the portal in Hellsik's diabolic little shop and return to camp.
Talking to resident bone-man Withers is the only way to re-spec your class in Baldur's Gate 3, but first, I steel my nerves and open my inventory. Time to assess the damage wrought by my past self, a sweet summer child who was still sussing out the RPG that would soon become her years-long fixation. Surprisingly, my build is not awful for a Level 10 Way of the Four Elements monk.
Sweetling is wearing clothing rather than armor (thanks for the robes, Viconia), her Bonespike Gauntlets ignore resistances to bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing damage, and she has both the Deathstalker Mantle and Amulet of Bhaal equipped – gifts from her Murder God dad, those last two. But one look at my companions and… oh dear. Karlach is wearing common leather armor, she does not have the Ring of Flinging (which is hidden too far back in the game for me to return to in Act 3, I note miserably), and she is trailing five levels behind the rest of the party. Underutilized and forgotten at camp, I'd sadly underestimated her in 2023.
But it's nothing I can't fix. I might have missed a lot of great loot during this first playthrough and owe most successes to having cheesed my way through it, but by some miracle, Sweetling had amassed plenty of coin. After a quick visit to Sorcerous Sundries and Dammon's forge in the Lower City – first for the Vest of Soul Rejuvenation for Sweetling, then the Unwanted Masterwork Scalemail for Karlach – I'm feeling much better about our chances against Raphael.
After arriving back at camp, I kick my annoying Bhaalspawn butler Sceleritas Fel as far as I can. He cries out his thanks for this great honor, and then I finally corner Withers. "Thy wheel of fate turns ever to the dark," he warns ominously (yawn) before offering his class-changing services.
As a Drunken Master Monk who'll be relying on her fists to do most of the talking, I'll want to boost my strength modifier as well as my dexterity. This is especially important because I intend to take advantage of my favorite Feat, one usually reserved for Karlach alone: Tavern Brawler. Consequently, this is also my headcanon full name for the game's generic player name, Tav.
As I level Sweetling up, I marvel at how her new abilities replace old ones in the most delightfully inventive, thematically appropriate ways. Flurry of Blows? Meet Drunken Technique, my new go-to. I still have Stunning Strike, but more intriguing is its Intoxicating sibling variant, which has a chance to inebriate foes and deal necrotic damage. Meanwhile, Sobering Strike deals psychic on top of base bludgeoning damage to drunken enemies, snapping them out of it with a start. Pair all of this with reduced fall damage, and I'm already obsessed with how Larian has retooled the homebrewed Drunken Master D&D subclass to fit its own RPG format.
Give 'em hell, kids
Drunken Master and Giant have thoroughly earned my re-specced party's respect.
With the party re-specced according to Patch 8's offerings, Sweetling's fisticuffs complemented by Karlach the Giant, Astarion the dual-wielding Swashbuckler, and Death Cleric Shadowheart, it's time to enter the House of Hope, rescue its eponymous prisoner, and rip up my contract with Raphael. I'll spare you the unpleasant visuals regarding just how Sweetling deals with incubus Haarlep – Bhaalspawn gotta get her kicks somewhere, I guess – and skip to the good stuff.
Like any good barfight, I kick things off by insulting Raphael's sexual prowess. This has the intended antagonistic effect. Showtime.
I'm delighted to find that, once locked into combat, Drunken Master Sweetling is near unstoppable. She can defeat most enemies in just two or three attacks, and with two punches apiece, there's something beautifully ridiculous about watching a diminutive half-elf punch a flaming boulder to pieces. I like to think Resident Evil 5's Chris Redfield would be proud.
Unfortunately, Intoxicating Strike doesn't seem to bear much fruit against denizens of the Hells – so it's just as well that Giant Barbarian Karlach can just boot away anyone dumb enough to swerve it.
I realize that while Karlach and Sweetling are having an unspeakably good time with their new subclasses, Astarion and Shadowheart are somewhat benched. Shadowheart's necromantic skills don't seem to hit as hard down here in Avernus, though Spirit Guardians and Guiding Bolt always come in clutch – doubly so, once Hope joins our ranks. Astarion's swashbuckling is only as useful as the foe he's pitted against. When faced with an unarmed enemy holding no rapier for him to flourish away, I'm back to Asty's usual tricks: stealth attack, bite, hide, repeat.
I'm especially annoyed with myself for not bringing Wyll when, upon reaching Raphael's Final Act, I remember that Raph's soul pillars are resistant to most damage except bludgeoning. How was I going to make it through this without force spells like Eldritch Blast? With Sweetling's fists, of course. And some runepowder bombs, courtesy of Astarion's hoarding.
I send Sweetling dashing about the place, delivering a solid one-two to each pillar until they crumble in turn. Elsewhere, Giant Karlach draws aggro from the enemy cambions, Shadowheart and Hope dole out the healing, and Astarion pelts bombs at everything. It might be cheating, but eventually I feel like letting my Bhaalspawn colors show, and unleash the Slayer upon Raphael to shred him to ribbons ahead of my final blow. With just three HP left, Sweetling delivers an Intoxicating Strike, knocking him flying back into the arms of Mephitopheles for a bit of punishment. I feed Sweetling a few bottles of wine as a reward.
I might not have gleaned all I wanted from some of Patch 8's newest additions, but Drunken Master and Giant have thoroughly earned my re-specced party's respect. All of the above took me about six hours, and honestly, I felt ready to press ahead when all was said and done. But alas, it is time for Sweetling to retreat to the shadows and bide her time, having finally achieved the potential I knew she'd had bubbling within this entire time. All she needed was a little liquid courage and a big gift from Larian to realize it.
Baldur's Gate 3 is one of the best RPGs ever, but there are plenty more to choose from
