Game of Thrones actor leads a lovingly vulgar tribute to "those old point and click adventure games that people gave a sh*t about in the 1990s" with a Steam Next Fest demo custom-built for Monkey Island fanatics

Earth Must Die
(Image credit: Size Five Games)

I'm a simple man: if you make me think of Monkey Island, you're already endeared yourself to me. Luckily, Earth Must Die is more than a slavish tribute to classic point-and-click adventure games, offering a delightfully vulgar sci-fi adventure led by an all-star cast of British comedians and some smart upgrades to the decades-old formula with a meaty Steam Next Fest demo to try out.

The Steam page for Earth Must Die will give you an instant idea of the game's vibe, with a store description written in the voice of our protagonist VValak Lizardtongue, the self-important ruler of an alien empire: "Apparently the story is retold in the form of one of those old point and click adventure games that people gave a sh*t about in the 1990s, I wanna say? But in 2025. Doesn’t sound like a good idea to me, but what do I know – I’m just a benevolent, terrifying leader of worlds who everyone loves and also super respects."

In-game, VValak is voiced by Joel Fry, who you might recognize for his recurring role as Hizdahr zo Loraq in Game of Thrones or his more substantial part as Frenchie in Our Flag Means Death. The developers' own description of the cast as "British comedy royalty" is tough to argue against, with the likes of Alex Horne (Taskmaster) and Martha Howe-Douglas (Horrible Histories). And, of course, we've got Ben Starr, who'll be recognizable to gamers for roles in everything from Final Fantasy 16 to Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 and that one really bright light meme.

Earth Must Die - Announcement Trailer - YouTube Earth Must Die - Announcement Trailer - YouTube
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You'll hear a lot of Fry as VValak in the demo, which is heavy on the dialog – and luckily, it's all pretty entertaining. The opening vignette sees VValak's father, mortally injured in a terrible space battle, prepare to pass the throne on to his progeny. Not VValak himself, of course, but rather his twin elder brothers. This sequence has you essentially talking your brothers into killing each other in gruesomely slapstick fashion.

Everything seems to hinge on dialog in Earth Must Die. The game instantly pokes fun at the old inventory puzzles of classic adventure games, with VValak's father warning him not to push buttons or pick up random objects because "poor people might have been touching them." No, a true ruler lets his voice do the work, so all the actions revolve around either talking to people or giving them commands to do things.

When you click on an object or person, you get a cut-down, Curse of Monkey Island-style wheel of interaction options, letting you observe, command, or speak to your target. The dialog options nicely give you both a quick preview of what VValak's going to say and a parenthetical insight into why he'd say that. These asides are a great source of comedy, but they also help stave off the old Mass Effect problem where you don't get a great insight into the emotion behind what your character's going to say.

I was thoroughly impressed by the Earth Must Die demo, but the fact that it's good probably shouldn't be too surprising – after all, developer Size Five Games has genre pedigree going back to 2008's Ben There, Dan That!, which adventure game diehards will recognize as one of the few great titles keeping the point-and-click format alive in that era. Earth Must Die shows the strength of that legacy, smartly building on the classic format with fresh, modern twists.

Sprinting past EA and Ubisoft, one dev blends Mirror's Edge and Prince of Persia to make a slick parkour action game that's going on my Steam Next Fest winners list.

Dustin Bailey
Staff Writer

Dustin Bailey joined the GamesRadar team as a Staff Writer in May 2022, and is currently based in Missouri. He's been covering games (with occasional dalliances in the worlds of anime and pro wrestling) since 2015, first as a freelancer, then as a news writer at PCGamesN for nearly five years. His love for games was sparked somewhere between Metal Gear Solid 2 and Knights of the Old Republic, and these days you can usually find him splitting his entertainment time between retro gaming, the latest big action-adventure title, or a long haul in American Truck Simulator.

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