E3 08: Final Fantasy XIII - The Fanboy Fury

So, Final Fantasy XIII is multiformat... A bombshell no doubt, but one that's surely good for the gaming community at large. More release platforms means more players means more happy people, right? Well no. We have a lot of unhappy people at the moment. This guy might be faking it for laughs, but his performance isn't far from the truth.

Sony fanboys are suicidal/homicidal, Xbox fanboys are gloating with not a second's care for dignity or grace, and BLOCK CAPTIALS and bad grammars iz breaking out all over the place. We trawled PS3Forums and Xbox.com and dredged up some of the messiest casualties of this particular war. All entries are published as originally written, and unlike in a real war, feel free to laugh at their pain.

PS3 Forums

Arimax: "This is truly Bullsh**. Sony has got to do something that sucks bad. MS doesn't deserve that game at all."

Daz: "Thats why it has taken so long to dev. I wont be picking it up anymore. All the multi-plat games have sucked"

Ishimaru Kaito: i'm about to have a ****ing fit this is such ******** i am very very pissed off WHAT DID SONY DO TO PISS THEM OFF why did they back stab Sony now this is really becoming a ..........................****

GamesRadar: This is really becoming an incoherent sentence?

knowledge4life: what kinda ******** is that. now i gotta get a ****ing watered down version of the greatest rpg . are you kidding me. wow SE just lost my purchase. i hope they burn in hell.

Daz: "This entire show was about stealing. They stole the Miis from Nintendo, Singstar, Banjo looked like LBP, The new OS looks like an Ipod, and they copied HOME as well. Then they announce this crap. How about you come up with your own ideas for a change M$."

Heavenly_King: "FU$K!!!. Sony needs to begin paying them hard because it looks like MCRAP is paying them a lot. COME ON SONY THROW SOME MONEY SO FFXIV IS AN EXCLUSIVE DAMNIT!!"

clean515: "Dont blame Square enix... All they do is trying to make as much money as possible, blame sony for being lazy ***** who dont want to pay for exclusive rights."

neojubei: "Sony is pending all their money on killzone 2 thats why. really wtf!!!"

Phaded: "Personally I think this will be a shadow of the game we know it could of been now, my favourite game of all time is going to be limited to the space of DVD and then ported over to PS3. Well they can **** the port I aint being shafted."

GamesRadar: You're right. The 360 has a processor made of cheese and uses Doritos as a storage medium. FFXIII will now be four minutes long, have 8-bit graphics, and you'll have to sing the soundtrack yourself from a sheet of music in the box.

clean515: "Sony just killed ps3 with not signing a exclusive deal with SE, if sony doesnt announce something really good i will sell my ps3 and buy a 360 when i'm finnished with metal gear.. Guess what i dont care about resistance 2 or killzone."

Complexis: "The only reason why I got a PS3 was mainly for XIII. This is totally unacceptable. Every go spam Square Enix. PS3 officially has NOTHING for it."

counterproductive: "You have to commend MS's speed though - they've pushed their stuff out pretty fast. Compare that to Home, which Sony continues to fund, when they could be spending their money on securing exclusives ie. this thread."

npejaver: "i bet thr'll be a FF7 remake announcement tomorrow... to appease sony fans.."

GamesRadar: Silver lining search mode activated.

SILVER13ACK: "I won't buy it if it's muli-platform."

GamesRadar: Yep, that's a sure-fire way to catch rival fanboy illnesses, that is.

One-Shot: "Oh noes! Now more people will be able to play the game!"

Complexis: "Full Scale Invade: http://boardsus.playstation.com/play...d?board.id=ps3

Sony needs to give the response tomorrow 'We have talked with Square Enix and have officially secured FFXIII as an exclusive once again through negotions and it will no longer be offered on the 360.'"

GamesRadar: Silver lining mode overdrive initiated.

Click over to the next page for the reaction on the Xbox forums.

David Houghton
Long-time GR+ writer Dave has been gaming with immense dedication ever since he failed dismally at some '80s arcade racer on a childhood day at the seaside (due to being too small to reach the controls without help). These days he's an enigmatic blend of beard-stroking narrative discussion and hard-hitting Psycho Crushers.