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ClassicRadar: Celebrity Xbox Avatars

(Editor’s note from 2011: This feature was originally posted in the pre-fired, pre-Beard era of Conan history.)

The hair's not quite right, but I think I nailed the bored air of disdain and superiority. Also note the spot-on clothes and jewelry. Now if only my Xbox had a green night vision filter and lazy eye constructer.

Is this really Mr. T?Orjust another "stereotypical black guy" from ourTop 7 Lazy Character Cliches? Couldn'the be both?

Ah yes! Every feature about celebrity avatars MUST include a newer and more pathetic version of Michael Jackson.How can you resist? Of course, to get that hat, I had to make him a woman, but who says I wouldn't have done that anyway?

He hasn’t been President for over two years, but with this avatar, he can govern over your 360 console forever. The business suit options are limited to all black (tan) or all white, so I gave George Jr. a casual Crawford Ranch style instead.

The key to Caribou Barbie is the fake politician smile, the pageant queen makeup and the sexy librarian hairdo. Oh, and the Tina Fey glasses, naturally. Add a few wrinkles to remind people she's over 40 and you're done!

Here again, I was annoyed by the lack of men's clothing. "Why can't I put my avatar in a regular business suit?!" I shouted angrily to the GamesRadar offices. "I don't think Microsoft expected anyone to want to look like John McCain," my boss answered wisely.

The parted hair, formal tie and Wrist Strong bracelet say "responsible conservative." The knowing grin, devious eyebrows and beady black eyes say something else entirely.

I enjoy sunshine, the company of kittens and turning frowns upside down. I am also a fan of sarcasm. Let's be friends!