The Top 7... Lamest party games

How you know it’s a “party”: Four young, multicultural adults? Crammed into one tiny television? And the black guy’s upside down?!? That mustachioed old millionaire truly throws a proper wingding.

As if that weren’t enough, check out the loading screen. Bumpin’!

The lame reality: Regular Monopoly is dull... an ancient relic you store at the back of your closet and, when searching for entertainment, pull out as a last reluctant resort. Given the choice between it and the atrocious Monopoly Party, however, we’d go for the dust-covered board game a million times over. Compare!

In Monopoly, you can clearly read the board. In Monopoly Party, you can stare at the digitized splotch on your screen and then patiently wait for pop-up boxes to tell you what the board says. In Monopoly, friends and family converse as they happily take turns rolling dice and buying property. In Monopoly Party, everyone rushes forward simultaneously, jostling to snap up real estate, bidding frantically on random auctions and hopelessly attempting to keep up with all the text and graphics that are flying across the television. In Monopoly, the mascot is nothing but a silent logo staring up at you from the cardboard. In Monopoly Party, he’s an animated little bully, hounding you to move faster and drilling into your brain with his mantra-like catchphrase, “That was a ding dong battle!”

We could go on. We won’t.

Worst excuse for a minigame:A theme, in this case. Prehistoric mode transforms the original’s classy silver pieces into lumbering, hunched over cavemen and cavewomen. As if the game wasn’t hideous enough already.

60 seconds to ensure you’ll never ever play:

60 seconds to ensure you’ll never ever play: