Snake Eyes (1998)
How Bad's The Film? Director Brian De Palma’s aiming for a Martin Scorsese kind of vibe, but doesn’t have the script to back it up. The result is a shambles.
How Bad's The Hair? No more or less offensive than usual. Almost erring on decent.
So-Bad-It's-Good? It starts off alright, but soon descends into absurdity. So no, not really.
National Treasure (2004)
How Bad's The Film? More daft than anything. Cage attempts to become Indiana Jones as he hunts the globe in a distinctly Da Vini Code -style romp that smacks of trend surfing. It looks desperate. It sounds desperate. It is desperate.
How Bad's The Hair? Interchangeable with Count Dracula’s. And oddly fluffy.
So-Bad-It's-Good? Not even if you’re a kid.
How Bad's The Film? So bad that it completely baffles, even though it’s essentially a simple tale of a woman who embarks on an affair with a manipulative tit.
How Bad's The Hair? We’re all about the moustache here.
So-Bad-It's-Good? Don’t bother. Clearly the best movie beginning with ‘Zan’ is Zanadu . And don’t let anybody tell you otherwise.
How Bad's The Film? Jumping onto the Cats & Dogs bandwagon, G- Force follows an elite squad of, uh, guinea pigs who are out to stop a mad-as-pink-cows billionaire from taking over the world. Anything about that sound bad to you?
How Bad's The Hair? Forget the hair, what’s with that nose?!
So-Bad-It's-Good? Heaven for guinea pig lovers. Hell for everybody else.
How Bad's The Film? Let’s look to Rotten Tomatoes again, who report that this film is 0% fresh. Yes, 0% fresh. Which means it’s essentially 100% rotten. Bad egg.
How Bad's The Hair? Frankly the best wig we’ve ever seen Cage wearing. They don’t even try to make it look real. The moustache wig’s pretty impressive, too.
City Of Angels (1998)
How Bad's The Film? A soppy, drippy, dreary mess that defecates all over the masterful German film it’s based on. “I wanted to create a subliminal essence where you're not really sure why it's different or other, but it is,” said Cage. Uh, what?
How Bad's The Hair? Cropped close, this is how it should be all the time. Not a strand out of place.
So-Bad-It's-Good? We’d go through a fair amount of adjectives before we got to ‘good’. An entire dictionary of ‘em.
National Treasure: Book Of Secrets (2007)
How Bad's The Film? It’s the film so bad they made it twice! Ridiculously similar to the first film, this haphazard sequel is as derivative as they come. Keep it away from young minds, they deserve better!
How Bad's The Hair? Sorry, Cage has hair in this one? We were too busy gagging at how bad everything else is to notice.
So-Bad-It's-Good? Indiana Jones is weeping somewhere.
The Boy In Blue (1986)
How Bad's The Film? Cage plays Ned Hanlan, a 19th Century sculler… Who… successfully uses… the first ‘sliding seat’… Zzzzzzz…
How Bad's The Hair? On his head, or on his chest? Either way we’re in seriously hairy territory.
So-Bad-It's-Good? Our memory appears to have been wiped (or, alright, we fell asleep), so we couldn’t tell you. Cool title, though.
Trapped In Paradise (1994)
How Bad's The Film? ‘Trapped’ is fitting – that’s exactly how you’ll feel when watching this. Paradise? At almost two hours in length (completely unnecessary), we really think not.
How Bad's The Hair? Dad hair alert! Style-less and wispy, it’s what you’d expect your fashion-phobic father to sport.
So-Bad-It's-Good? This can’t even be classed as a comedy. Aren’t they supposed to illicit laughs?
Fire Birds (1990)
How Bad's The Film? One of Cage’s worst. As a member of an elite flight corps, he appears to be either sleepwalking, or attempting to cram a character from an old Western in a '90s action film. Excruciating.
How Bad's The Hair? Nowhere near as perfectly coiffed as Tommy Lee Jones’. Let down.
So-Bad-It's-Good? "Let's just say it's the best 77-minute Apache helicopter actioner starring Nicolas Cage I've ever seen," says one Internet reviewer. Take that as you will.