12 Action Women For The Female Expendables
Gina Carano
The Female: Jason Statham.
Why She Should Be In It: Firstly, because she already is in it.
As producer Adi Shankar put it: “I don't know how I'm supposed to make a movie that is supposed to be the female version of The Expendables without Gina Carano in it. It would be like making Twix without caramel or Jamba Juice without jamba."
She completely kicks ass in the action-fest Haywire , and we reckon she could fill the Jason Statham role with ease.
All we need for her now is a name that's as silly as Lee Christmas.
Jenny Halloween, anyone?
Career Referencing One-Liner: As our villain is losing it on the battlefield: "She's going haywire!"
Linda Hamilton
The Female: Sylvester Stallone.
Why She Should Be In It: Linda Hamilton's Sarah Connor ( T:2 edition) is arguably the most iconic bad-ass female in action cinema history.
Whether she's doing pull-ups in her cell, shoving a needle into the neck of an enemy, or striding towards a target holding an automatic weapon, Hamilton's Connor was effortlessly cool.
We can't think of anyone better to be the film's Barney Ross, we'd follow her into battle any day of the week.
Career Referencing One-Liner: Shortly before running into a gun fight: "There's no fate but what we make. So let's go make some fate!"
Sigourney Weaver
The Female: Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Why She Should Be In It: Seeing Aliens ' Ripley shoulder to shoulder with Terminator 2 's Sarah Connor would give us geek goosebumps to equal the shivers we experienced seeing Arnie and Sly shooting up The Expendables 2 .
We don't see Weaver as a central character in the female Expendables - she seems happier doing cameos these days - but give her a one-liner filled 8-minutes or so of screen-time, and fans will go home happy.
Career Referencing One-Liner: During banter with the Dolph character: "What are you, an illegal alien?"
Helen Mirren
The Female: Bruce Willis.
Why She Should Be In It: Mirren might not have the same level of action pedigree as some of the other names on this list, but she's played a contract killer on more than one occasion and, crucially, she recently appeared as a badass in action-film RED with Bruce Willis.
And, quite frankly, this is the closest we'll come to seeing Queen Elizabeth II in an action movie - well, since the Olympics anyway - so we'll take our chances where we can get them.
Career Referencing One-Liner: Mirren's character is shot, and appears to have been killed.
She gets up, and pulls her shirt open, and reveals a bullet-proof vest. "The queen is dead. Long live the queen," she says, shooting a henchman.
Michelle Yeoh
The Female: Jet Li
Why She Should Be In It: Like the other Expendables before her, Yeoh started her career in '80s action movies - appearing alongside Cynthia Rothrock in 1985's Police Assassin in her first major action role.
Since then she's appeared in the likes of Police Story 3 (with Jackie Chan), Tomorrow Never Dies (with James Bond), and The Mummy: Tomb Of The Dragon Empire (with Jet Li).
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon is probably her most critically acclaimed work, but we reckon her decision to turn down a part in The Matrix sequels is equally worthy of applause.
Career Referencing One-Liner: Invading the villain's lair with two hench-women, ordering them to blend into the surroundings: "Crouch, Tiger. Hide, Dragon."
Brigitte Nielsen
The Female: Dolph Lundgren.
Why She Should Be In It: No female Expendables movie would be complete without Nielsen - and not just because she made her debut in a Schwarzenegger movie AND married Stallone (in the same year!)
No, Nielsen should also be in it because she's awesome.
Tall, strong, and smarter than her reputation for being in big dumb movies might suggest, she is essentially the female Dolph.
Well, except for the fact she's Danish and not Swedish, but you can't have everything.
Career Referencing One-Liner: A henchman attempts to flirt with her, and she pushes him away: "Get away from me, you barbarian."
Cynthia Rothrock
The Female: Chuck Norris.
Why She Should Be In It: Rothrock is five-time World Karate Champion in forms and weapons between 1981 and 1985. She holds six Black belts in various Far Eastern martial disciplines. Forget being in the female Expendables , she should direct it!
She's been called the female Chuck Norris throughout her career, but we think she's more than that. She's the female Cynthia Rothrock.
Having said that, we do think she should play the female Chuck Norris in the female Expendables .
Career Referencing One-Liner: "They think they're above the law? Then we declare martial law. We'll fight with rage and honor, and we'll take an eye for an eye. And there'll be no retreat no surrender, too. We'll be undeafeatable!"
Sure, that's essentially gibberish, but it does reference six of Rothrock's movies, so we're keeping it.
Sean Young
The Female: Jean-Claude Van Damme.
Why She Should Be In It: She might not have made many action movies, but Young's off-camera reputation is that of an ass-kicker.
She was arrested earlier this year for slapping a security guard. This was at the Oscars . How badass do you have to be to get arrested at the Oscars?
James Woods sued her for harassment, claiming she spent a period in the late '80s stalking him. Young claims it was a misunderstanding.
There's a possibility that it was also a misunderstanding when she turned up on the set of Batman Returns in a home-made Catwoman costume, despite the fact she hadn't been cast in the film, and they had a perfectly decent wardrobe department.
What we're saying is, if the female Expendables need a lady Jean-Claude to fight against, Young's it.
In 2007 Young told Entertainment Weekly that she was a "Comeback waiting to happen."
Let's give her that comeback.
Career Referencing One-Liner: "I'm Batman."
Kim Basinger
The Female: Mickey Rourke.
Why She Should Be In It: Like Michelle Yeoh, Basinger is another Bond girl. She replaced Sean Young as Tim Burton's Batman love interest (which might lead to some interesting on-set tension). And she has some stunt experience, from her work on Nadine .
And let's not forget, she worked with Rourke on 9 1/2 Weeks , so she's best placed to mimic Mickey.
But more than anything else, wouldn't you love to see Basinger take on the role of a grumpy tattoo artist? Thought so.
Career Referencing One-Liner: "That's a big tattoo. I'd keep it out of the sun for, I don't know, around nine and a half weeks."
Jennifer Lawrence
The Female: Liam Hemsworth.
Why She Should Be In It: Expendables 2 was such a legend-fest is easy to forget that Liam Hemsworth played a significant role.
The female Expendables needs similar young blood, and we reckon Lawrence would be perfect for the task.
She's already been a female lead in two of the best action flicks of the past two years - X-Men: First Class and The Hunger Game s - kicking significant ass in both.
But more than that, she's a brilliant actress - she was the second youngest person to be nominated for a Best Actress Oscar for a reason.
Career Referencing One-Liner: "Slow down. This isn't the running man, you know."
Pam Grier
The Female: Terry Crews.
Why She Should Be In It: Terry Crews may have appeared in modern blaxploitation flicks like Soul Plane , but Pam Grier was instrumental in inventing the genre.
Key titles include Coffy , in which she played the "baddest one-chick hit-squad that ever hit town!" and the iconic Foxy Brown "the meanest chick in town!"
Basically, in the '70s, towns were in trouble pretty much as soon as Pam Grier showed up.
And just in case there's anyone out that who thinks she hasn't still got it, she's about to appear in RZA's love letter to Shaw Brothers' cinema, The Man With The Iron Fists .
Career Referencing One-Liner: "AK-47. The very best there is. When you absolutely, positively got to kill every motherfucker in the room, accept no substitutes."
Demi Moore
The Female: Randy Couture.
Why She Should Be In It: '80s icon. Bruce Willis' ex-wife. Barn-storming performances in action-heavy flicks like G.I Jane and Charlie's Angels .
We know Randy Couture and Demi Moore have almost nothing in common - apart from the fact their names sort-of rhyme, in a way - but we'll take any excuse to shove Demi into the female Expendables line-up.
Career Referencing One-Liner: "Let turn these guys into Ghosts."