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  1. Entertainment
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Ashton Kutcher's Movie Conquests

Features
By Matt Maytum published 22 February 2011

How does he do it?

When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. Here’s how it works.

That '70s Show (1998-2006)

That '70s Show (1998-2006)

The Conquest: Jackie Burkhart (Mila Kunis)

The Seduction Technique:
OK, so it's a TV show, not a movie, but it did launch Kutcher on to megastardom. Over a run of eight seasons, he snared numerous women as loveable goof Kelso, though he always had a soft-spot for Jackie, his on-off flame.

Lessons Learned? The TV format allows a character's seductive prowess to be milked to the full, and TV relationships can evolve and change.

Also, chicks dig guys who make them laugh, or guys they can laugh at…

Page 1 of 17
Page 1 of 17
Coming Soon (1999)

Coming Soon (1999)

The Conquest: Jenny Simon (Gaby Hoffman)

The Seduction Technique: The movie follows a trio of spoilt teenage girls at a Manhattan school, who are more interested in pursuing sexual pleasures then studying for their SATs.

Louie (Kutcher) doesn't even have to put any effort in to score here, though he becomes a bit fed up (!?!) with the constant, aggressive seeing-tos he receives.

Lessons Learned? A teenage boy can apparently have too much sex (further verification of this anomalous finding is required).

Page 2 of 17
Page 2 of 17
Down to You (2000)

Down to You (2000)

The Conquest: Imogen (Julia Stiles)

The Seduction Technique:
Another one where Kutcher doesn't have to do much leg work to get his leg over.

This gag-inducing teen romance sees college kids Imogen and Al (Freddie Prinze Jr) break up when he develops a sudden, uncharacteristic commitment phobia.

Luckily for her, drug dealer 'Jim Morrison' (Kutcher) is ready and waiting to join in some jealousy-stoking games.

Lessons Learned? Timing is crucial, as being in the right place at the right time is essential. Also, looking like a rock star doesn't hurt.

Page 3 of 17
Page 3 of 17
Dude, Where's My Car? (2000)

Dude, Where's My Car? (2000)

The Conquest: Wanda (Jennifer Garner), among other attempts

The Seduction Technique: Jesse Montgomery III is one of Kutcher's dumbest characters, and when teamed up with Seann William Scott's Chester, the pair aren't exactly a formidable pulling duo.

Somehow, they've maintained a year long relationship with twins Wanda and Wilma (Marla Sokolof) though, and they need to find the missing car to make sure they receive the special treat their girlfriends have promised.

Sci-fi madness ensues, along with various attempts on other babes, human and alien.

Lessons Learned? Excessive marijuana consumption is bad for your sex life.

Page 4 of 17
Page 4 of 17
Just Married (2003)

Just Married (2003)

The Conquest: Sarah Leezak, née McNerney (Brittany Murphy)

The Seduction Technique: This should have really been Kutcher's easiest score to date, as he spends the majority of the movie on his honeymoon after a whirlwind romance with Sarah (fondly-missed Murphy, Kutcher's then-partner).

Unfortunately for them (and the audience), their attempts to consummate the marriage are beset by a string of unlikely (and slapstick-heavy) obstacles, and rival love interests.

Lessons Learned? Marriage is not to be taken lightly, but putting on a wedding ring does seem to make you more appealing to the opposite sex.

Page 5 of 17
Page 5 of 17
My Boss's Daughter (2003)

My Boss's Daughter (2003)

The Conquest: Lisa Taylor (Tara Reid)

The Seduction Technique: As the title suggests, here Kutcher faces a challenge that all lotharios dread, falling for the daughter of his terrifying boss (Terence Stamp).

His plan of attack doesn't turn out to be particularly successful though, as he's tricked into house-sitting for Lisa while she's out at a party. Needless to say, anything that could go wrong at Stamp's place does, in the most overblown way imaginable.

Lessons Learned? No one likes a pushover (which is proved when he 'mans up' and earns a bit of respect).

Page 6 of 17
Page 6 of 17
Cheaper by the Dozen (2003)

Cheaper by the Dozen (2003)

The Conquest: Nora Baker (Piper Perabo)

The Seduction Technique: It's always tricky to endear oneself to the girlfriend's family, and Hank (Kutcher) has his work cut out when it comes to the baby factory that is the Bakers (Steve Martin and Bonnie Hunt) and their 12 kids.

The poor guy has has to put up with the Nora's prank-happy siblings, including an encounter that see's him having his nuts chowed on by the family dog (probably not quite what he had planned that afternoon).

Lessons Learned? Ultimately he falls down by revealing his deep hatred of kids. Always keep that well hidden.

Page 7 of 17
Page 7 of 17
The Butterfly Effect (2004)

The Butterfly Effect (2004)

The Conquest: Kayleigh (Amy Smart)

The Seduction Technique: Evan isn't Kutcher's most effective lady-wrangler (it doesn't help that he has to deal with recurring time-travelling episodes every time he looks in his journal).

In a desperate attempt to get back with Kayleigh, the one that got away, he keeps jumping back in time and mucking around with events, creating alternate futures where they're generally considerably worse off.

Lessons Learned? It's always handy to remember the advice Homer Simpson's dad gave him on his wedding day: "If you ever travel back in time, don't step on anything…"

Page 8 of 17
Page 8 of 17
Guess Who (2005)

Guess Who (2005)

The Conquest: Theresa Jones (Zoe Saldana)

The Seduction Technique: Simon (Kutcher) has already worked his magic on his chosen lady, but he faces problems when it comes to meeting the parents.

Turns out her dad (Bernie Mac) isn't too keen on his daughter marrying a white boy, and does what he can to split the pair up, with never more than mildly amusing results.

Lessons Learned? After sitting through this chore, it's important to know when you just have to cut your losses: sometimes it's just not worth suffering the indignity.

Page 9 of 17
Page 9 of 17
A Lot Like Love (2005)

A Lot Like Love (2005)

The Conquest: Emily Friehl (Amanda Peet)

The Seduction Technique: Oliver (Kutcher) has it easy to begin with, when Emily jumps on him for a spot of fun in an aeroplane toilet.

Following that romantic rendezvous, it takes him approximately seven years to get it together with her properly, after random, disharmonious meetings, and a spot of karaoke.

Lessons Learned? Love takes time. Way too much time in this case. He should've struck while the iron was hot.

Page 10 of 17
Page 10 of 17
The Guardian (2006)

The Guardian (2006)

The Conquest: Emily Thomas (Melissa Sagemiller)

The Seduction Technique:
A crafty one. Trainee lifeguard Jake (the Kutch-meister) is at Coast Guard college when he meets schoolteacher Emily.

He uses the old 'I'm only in town for a limited period of time' ruse to engage her in casual relations, which he has little time for under the guidance of Kevin Costner's stoic, grunting instructor anyway.

After graduating, Jake decides to maintain the relationship, and announces it (rather inappropriately) in the middle of one of Emily's classes.

Lessons Learned? You have to think about the long game whenever you play with these sort of tactics. And it's best to show some restraint in front of school kids.

Page 11 of 17
Page 11 of 17
What Happens in Vegas (2008)

What Happens in Vegas (2008)

The Conquest: Joy McNally (Cameron Diaz)

The Seduction Technique: This is an example of resourcefulness meeting opportunity, then becoming a thoroughly long-winded, and actually pretty nasty, route to true love.

As is so often the case, alcohol helps the initial union, but the drunken revellers take it a bit too far and end up married.

They decide to divorce and share his whopping slot-machine jackpot, but a judge forces them to stay married for six months (!?!), and before long their mutual loathing dissipates and they discover that they can bear each other, and they're rich. Truly touching.

Lessons Learned?
It's impossible to believe that anyone could be edified by this: what happens in What Happens in Vegas , should stay in What Happens in Vegas .

Page 12 of 17
Page 12 of 17
Spread (2009)

Spread (2009)

The Conquest: Wealthy socialite Samantha (Anne Heche), and Heather (Margarita Levieva)… and Emily (Rachel Blanchard) and Christina (Sonia Rockwell)...

The Seduction Technique: Here, it seems Ashton has learnt the value of his prowess, and his innate, bewildering attractiveness, and turns his skills to being a gigolo.

He finds himself in a cushty situation with Samantha, but he foolishly ends up falling for Heather, his female equivalent. Cue slack-jawed disbelief when the vacuity of his lifestyle dawns on him.

Lessons Learned? Always keep your employer happy, or you could be out on your ear. And being really, really ridiculously good-looking will only mask your lack of substance for so long.

Page 13 of 17
Page 13 of 17
Personal Effects (2009)

Personal Effects (2009)

The Conquest: Linda (Michelle Pfeiffer)

The Seduction Technique: As Will Ferrell states in Wedding Crashers , "Grief is nature's most powerful aphrodisiac". It's a mantra that Walter (Kutcher), takes to heart when he meets community centre worker Linda.

Both have had a family member murdered recently, but they soon learn to find a not-too-unpleasant way to pass the time while they wait for the verdicts of their respective cases.

Lessons Learned? Steer clear of anyone with too much baggage, as complications, and inane voiceovers, will inevitably ensue.

Page 14 of 17
Page 14 of 17
Valentine's Day (2010)

Valentine's Day (2010)

The Conquest: Morley (Jessica Alba) and Julia (Jennifer Garner)

The Seduction Technique: Kutcher's florist (yes) is the glue that holds this Love Actually -alike tale(s) of love in LA together.

At first things don't go too well for him when he pops the Q to his girlfriend Morley, but his occupation means that his workplace basically has a revolving door of needy women being thrown at him, and before the day is out he has laid the groundwork with Julia.

Lessons Learned? If you hang around flower shops, you needn't be without an A-list hottie for more than 24 hrs.

Page 15 of 17
Page 15 of 17
Killers (2010)

Killers (2010)

The Conquest: Jennifer Kornfeldt (Katherine Heigl)

The Seduction Technique: Mostly wandering around shirtless seems to do the trick. Here Kutcher plays super-assassin Spencer looking to get out of the game.

A flash of his bronzed bod is pretty much all that's necessary to win desperate Jen's hand, and he quickly settles into a quiet suburban life with her. Until his former employees put a bounty on his head and this descends into sub- Mr & Mrs Smith shenanigans, that is.

Lessons Learned? After being married to Jen for three years, the chance to go on a violent rampage would be a blessed relief.

Page 16 of 17
Page 16 of 17
No Strings Attached (2011)

No Strings Attached (2011)

The Conquest: Emma (Natalie Portman)

The Seduction Technique: Being a hunky cut of man meat has its advantages, especially if you have friends like Emma.

Emma's a busy doctor, looking for a casual buddy to fulfil physical needs on an ad hoc basis, without requiring any of the boring relationship stuff.

If you want to find out if the pair are going to end up falling for each other, No Strings Attached hits cinemas on Friday.

Check out the Total Film review right here .

Lessons Learned? The phrase 'Let's be friends' doesn't necessarily signal disaster.

Page 17 of 17
Page 17 of 17
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Matt Maytum
Matt Maytum
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Matt Maytum is the former Editor of Total Film magazine. Over the past decade, Matt has worked in various roles for TF online and in print, including at GamesRadar+. Bucket-list-ticking career highlights have included reporting from the set of Tenet and Avengers: Infinity War, as well as covering Comic-Con, TIFF and the Sundance Film Festival.

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