The Golden Joystick Awards 2008 has just wrapped up. If you missed the live broadcast... where the hell where you? But no matter. If you were one of the 856,262 gamers that voted, you'll probably be interested to know who won what.
But before we get down to business, why not enjoy the rather eye-catching pair of ladies pictured below enjoying a little liquid refreshment at the rather jolly pre-awards drinky-poos. Lovely.
GOLDEN JOYSTICK AWARDS 2008 - WINNERS
Nuts All Nighter Award (ie best multiplayer)
Winner: Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare
First runner-up: Grand Theft Auto IV
Second runner-up: Halo 3
We say: So potent is the power of CoD at keeping men from their marital beds that there's actually a Facebook group called 'I'm a Call of Duty 4 widow!'. It has 290 members. So, well deserved props to Activision and Infinity Ward for keeping the Men of Games up until the break of dawn. UAV is online!
The Sun Family Game of the Year
Winner: Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock
First runner-up: Mario Kart Wii
Second runner-up: Super Mario Galaxy
We say: In happy homes all over the country, Guitar Hero has become the new Buckaroo. And rocking out with the olds is a helluva lot more fun than trying to place a sombrero on the back of a plastic spring-loaded donkey. A worthy winner.
Bliss Handheld Game of the Year
Winner: The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass
First runner-up: Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare
Second runner-up: Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core
We say: Good news. No one makes Nintendo games like Nintendo. Because they're Nintendo, obviously. And with the DS swamped with such tedious lifestyle tosh as My Middle Finger Trainer and Learn My Brain into a Super Computer, we need to make sure gems like Phantom Hourglass get the love they deserve.
Above: It's ceremony host and bespectacled maker of mirth, Frankie Boyle
4Talent Mobile Game of the Year
Winner: Bejewelled 2
First runner-up: Metal Gear Solid Mobile
Second runner-up: Guitar Hero III Mobile
We say: A simple - and classic - puzzle formula made sparkly is the absolute perfect fit for handsets. Play it on your iPhone for an experience in ring-and-bling gaming. Or, download the Flash version for free from PopCap. Nice.
Nintendo Game of the Year
Winner: Super Smash Bros Brawl
First runner-up: Super Mario Galaxy
Second runner-up: Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare
We say: If we possessed the power to rig the vote, Super Mario Galaxy would be the winner. No question. However, with pretty much every significant Nintendo character and a soundtrack that was the absolute epitome of fan service, Brawl is undeniably every Nintendorks wet dream.
PC Game of the Year
Winner: Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare
First runner-up: Portal
Second runner-up: Crysis
We say: Proof that gamers prefer shooting terrorists to bending their minds out of shape. In fairness, any of these games would be deserving of a finely moulded stick of gold. But screw fairness. COD 4 frickin' ROCKS!
Above: Ever wondered what a golden joystick looks like?
Retailer of the Year
Winner: Play.com
First runner-up: Amazon
Second runner-up: Game
We say: Buying games from home is better than going to the shops. Official.
PlayStation Game of the Year
Winner: Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots
First runner-up: Grand Theft Auto IV
Second runner-up: Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare
We say: Sony boys love a bit of Solid, so it's no surprise that Kojima's last (is it his last? We lose track) Metal Gear sneaks in for this award. And, of course, it's a bloody good game. Which always helps. Otherwise Haze would've been in with a chance and that just wouldn't be right.
