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  1. Entertainment
  2. Movies

50 Worst Movie Toys

Features
By Simon Kinnear published 1 April 2013

Tired tie-ins and mediocre merchandising

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E.T. The Extra Terrestrial Board Game

The Toy: While the notorious Atari console game scooped the critical brickbats, this traditional game was lucky to escape censure with its similarly laborious 'assemble a phone' gameplay.

Worst Detail: The design of the E.T. playing piece, which sees the alien fella clutching his tummy, makes it look like he's ill.

Ghost Rider

The Toy: There have been many lows in Nicolas Cage's career over the past decade, but surely none as soul-crushing as being rendered as the most unhealthy-looking action figure of all time?

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Worst Detail: The lack of proportion - are Nic Cage's hands really bigger than his head?

Spider-man Intercom Masks

The Toy: To tie-in with (or, more likely, cash in on) Spider-man 3 , IMC Toys Ltd released a duo of masks, styled after Spidey and alien nemesis Venom, with built-in walkie-talkies.

Worst Detail: Never mind wondering why Spider-man would ever use an intercom, how about asking why he'd choose to speak to Venom?

Swashbuckling Pan

The Toy: Spielberg! Pirates! Huge profits! That was probably the thinking behind Mattel's range of Hook action figures, but they were so excited they forgot to ask who was starring as Pan before creating the toys.

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Worst Detail: Yes, that is meant to be Robin Williams.

Hairspray Dolls

The Toy: Not even John Waters, director of the original Hairspray , managed to create anything quite as kitsch as these plus-size dolls, launched to coincide with the release of the 2007 remake.

Worst Detail: John Travolta, in drag, miniaturised but still chubby of cheek = the stuff of nightmares.

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The Baroness

The Toy: The problem with articulated action figures is that they don't really capture the idea of a curvaceous leather catsuit, like the one Sienna Miller wears in G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra .

Worst Detail: Miller herself bemoaned the figure's big chin and cross eyes, but it's the painfully thin waist that makes the toy look ill.

Face Hugger Chopsticks

The Toy: Perfect for those re-enactments of the dinner table scene from Alien .

Worst Detail: The fundamental flaw in the concept - a facehugger looks nothing like chopsticks, hence the vast majority of the detail has gone into a superfluous stand.

Frodo Baggins

The Toy: Ultra-creepy take on Elijah Wood's iconic Hobbit that may or may not have been instrumental in getting the actor his current role as the eponymous Maniac .

Worst Detail: The serial killer expression. Seriously, replace those brown robes with a hooded red top and we'd like looking at an action figure of the killer dwarf from Don't Look Now .

Talking Mario

The Toy: Ever wanted an angry looking Bob Hoskins doll who talks only in video game catchphrases? Here you go.

Worst Detail: The disturbing mental image you get when you touch the doll and it yells back, "Nobody touches my tools!"

Rambo Lunchbox

The Toy: The 1980s' quintessential R-rated icon quickly became co-opted as a kids' favourite, to the point where school canteens were full of imagery of a bandana-wearing nutter waving a machine gun around.

Worst Detail: Context - you simply couldn't get away with promoting this stuff in today's schools.

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