50 Coolest Fictional Movie Companies

Features
By published

No need to be bored in the boardroom

Life Extension

Though We Could Probably Do Without: Having to enter the psyche of disturbed customers like César (Eduardo Noriega) and David Aames (Tom Cruise) when the dream programme goes wrong.

Silver Shamrock Novelties

The Company: Toy company owned by Conal Cochran (Dan O'Herlihy), a witchcraft-obsessed madman plotting to use his products to kill children during Halloween 3: Season Of The Witch (1982).

Why We'd Want To Work There: The challenge of mixing traditional toy-making craft with hi-tech jiggery pokery - Cochran's plan relies on creating computer chips made from fragments of Stonehenge.

Though We Could Probably Do Without: All of our colleagues being mindless, business suit-wearing androids.

Brawndo

The Company: Energy drink brand seen in Idiocracy (2006), which managed to muscle in on lucrative government contracts to the point where it replaced water as America's liquid of choice.

Why We'd Want To Work There: Since everybody needs water to live, Brawndo has a profit-spinning monopoly to die for.

Though We Could Probably Do Without: The PR backlash when it becomes apparent that Brawndo is useless for irrigating crops and is, in effect, the root of all of America's problems.

Parallax Corporation

The Company: Shadowy organisation seen in The Parallax View (1974) that recruits political assassins with a view to bumping off opponents while blaming the murders on unstable lone gunmen.

Why We'd Want To Work There: The ideal choice for sociopaths who need an outlet for their violence.

Though We Could Probably Do Without: Indoctrination via lengthy, subliminal montage film. Hey, if we're interested in becoming an assassin, just give us the gun, OK?

Mitch and Murray

The Company: Real estate firm determined to get the best out of its salesmen by offering the prestigious Glengarry leads to successful workers, rather than the rubbish Glen Ross leads.

Why We'd Want To Work There: "First prize is a Cadillac Eldorado. Second prize is a set of steak knives."

Though We Could Probably Do Without: "Third prize is you're fired."

Megadodo Publications

The Company: Interplanetary publisher most renowned for its classic reference work, The Hitch Hiker's Guide To The Galaxy (2005) - not only cheaper than its nearest rivals, but it has the words DON'T PANIC inscribed in large friendly letters on its cover.

Why We'd Want To Work There: It's the perfect excuse for footloose journalists like Ford Prefect (Mos Def) to visit new planets and learn about their customs.

Though We Could Probably Do Without: Having the offices invaded by hitchhikers wanting to complain about the book's inaccuracies.

Multi National United

The Company: Private military contractors tasked with relocating refugee aliens in Johannesburg from their previous home in District 9 (2009) to a new internment camp.

Why We'd Want To Work There: It's not often that a job entails getting to work with aliens on a daily basis.

Though We Could Probably Do Without: The undiluted anti-"prawn" racism.

Crimson Permanent Assurance

The Company: British insurance firm staffed by elderly gentlemen, owned by the malevolent Very Big Corporation of America in Monty Python's The Meaning Of Life (1983).

Why We'd Want To Work There: What do these timid clerks do when one gets sacked? They become bold, bloodthirsty pirates who sail across the ocean in their office building to put their paymasters to the sword.

Though We Could Probably Do Without: The average employee age being quite as high, as the company's long-term prospects don't look so bright.

Spectacular Optical

The Company: Government-funded producers of the eponymous cable show in Videodrome (1983), a smorgasbord of hardcore sex 'n' violence that is also secretly giving its audience hallucination-inducing brain tumours.

Why We'd Want To Work There: A rare opportunity to work in black ops and entertainment at the same time, successful candidates will be able to apply their perverted creativity in aid of taking over the world.

Though We Could Probably Do Without: Viewers discovering that they can be reprogrammed to turn against Spectacular Optical using their grisly reality-shattering powers.

Soylent Corporation

The Company: In the future Earth of 2022 (actually, aw hell, that's only NINE YEARS away) where pollution and overpopulation have made eating a luxury, thank goodness for this company and its miraculous food product, the eponymous Soylent Green (1972).

Why We'd Want To Work There: Everybody needs to eat, so we'd be doing everybody a favour by giving them the green stuff. Oh, and if you're that way inclined, the job comes with your own concubine.

Though We Could Probably Do Without: The nutritional report detailing exactly what goes into Soylent Green.