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Would YOU date a game character?

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We created four different virtual people and signed them up to various online dating sites. Why? We wanted to see if anyone out there was desperately seeking something enough to pursue any of our digitally-constructed lonely hearts. And, yes, they did receive attention from people who were looking for love. Here's what happened.

Sally Slam (created in Virtua Tennis 3)


Above: The picture we put on her profile

What we wrote on her profile: "Hey, how's it going? I'm Sally, a massive tennis fan, amateur player and all around digital sports enthusiast. I don't really have time to socialise, as I'm out on the courts most days training. If I'm not knocking over drum cans with my balls, I'm getting sweaty trying to serve and volley into strategically-placed barrels. I recently entered my first amateur tournament and walked away with the title.

I won't lie, because so much of my life revolves around smashing balls, watching balls getting smashed and thinking about watching balls getting smashed, I don't really have time for the whole dating scene. I'm looking for some no strings attached, unadulterated fun. Time wasters need not apply. Do you think you can handle a hot, amateur star? Don't mind taking second place to my burgeoning tennis career? Then why not send me a message? I might just serve up some naughty fun."


Above: Our girl after a hard ball smashing session

Her interests:


Above: There's so much mystery and depth in those digital eyes

The emails Sally Slam received:

Sadly, we didn't get a chance to read all these. Sally Slam was officially purged from the interwebs when our account was deleted by the admin boffins.

Most chilling email:

Stiffy Dan (above) wrote: "Hey, you got MSN babe? I would like to chat to you a bit better than using this messaging thing. Also you can smash my balls around anytime. I'm up for some no strings attached fun if you are. Get back to me. xx"

Johnny Cage (created in UFC: Undisputed)


Above: Johhny enjoying Blackpool beach in his profile pic

What we wrote in his profile: “Yo. I’m Johnny. Johnny Cage. But you can call me Mr. Johnny Cage… the third. Nah, I’m just messing with you… kinda. Anyhoo, I’m a part-time mixed martial artist, originally from Manchester. Recently, I’ve tried to get into the British UFC scene, but haven’t had much luck. Maybe it’s got something to do with me having tapped more than Fred Astaire during almost every match I’ve fought in. I’m a passionate sort and I’m never one to hide my emotions. Especially when I’m getting my ankle snapped by some seven foot skinhead from Ukraine.

I can’t lie. Years of squaring up against other men has given my face what you might euphemistically describe as ‘character’. I also foolishly emblazoned my chest with a Union Jack tattoo. It’s obviously something I regret and, as soon as I’ve saved up for the laser removal surgery, you can consider it gone. Why am I here? For companionship, really. And to make a connection with someone that doesn’t end with me in tears and with my pelvis shattered.”


Above: Our boy getting ready to fight in the ring

The suspiciously high number of emails Johnny Cage received within his first day on the site:

Maybe they just like Photoshopped pictures of really ugly game characters... oh wait, what's this? You just want us to pay an extremely reasonable fee to actually open any of the emails from these seemingly hot and horny and totally real girls? On second thoughts, we think we'll try and hook Johnny up with a friend.

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57 comments

  • MechanicalBird - July 14, 2009 10:17 a.m.

    The ad at the bottom of the page fits perfectly "start your journey now, my Lord" "Play>GAME FREE FOREVER"
  • Sharkbait - July 14, 2009 7:15 a.m.

    I would date Jill and tell her to make me a Jill Sandwich.
  • Ravenbom - July 13, 2009 10:15 p.m.

    LMAO!
  • Shane1403 - July 13, 2009 4:47 p.m.

    this is great it would have been great to see that guys faces when they saw dat they had asked out an ugly ass games character
  • Demonflare - July 13, 2009 1:27 a.m.

    Uhh would if I say that I have a list of game chara.'s I would date...
  • CapnCrotchPunch - July 13, 2009 12:05 a.m.

    I'd take Johnny cage for a tussle any day... if you know what I mean
  • TENAXIS - July 12, 2009 4:56 p.m.

    LOL, holy eff!!! i love those very sex suggestive lines!!! ahahahhahaah, really messed up BTW, the last one "the strength to knock balls over a hundred yards in the air, but is gentle enough to slowly insert them into a tight hole." ROFL!!
  • disturbedanomaly36 - July 11, 2009 11:50 p.m.

    oh crap, no its not, sorry about that GR
  • disturbedanomaly36 - July 11, 2009 11:48 p.m.

    you know, im pretty sure thats enough to be called fraud
  • Awesomeitude1523 - July 11, 2009 6:46 p.m.

    An article that embodies what GR stands for: Comedy, Wierd Ideas, Disturbing Ideas, and the sense of humour and the balls to do something like this. Bravo.
  • GaMeRGuY1oh4 - July 11, 2009 1:45 p.m.

    Is it just me, or does Edna look like a female Chuckie? Just imagine that the golf club is her little knife and we've got a movie!
  • megaton624 - July 11, 2009 10:42 a.m.

    follow-ups?!
  • gmilf71 - July 11, 2009 9:18 a.m.

    dear god. edna eagle. WHY?!
  • Bloodmeta - July 11, 2009 2:36 a.m.

    Ah Gamesradar, You Made My Day With Filling Me Up With Lulz From This Article! I Mean, Not To Be Rude To The Guys Who Got Pranked... But Still... That Chilling E-mail Was...Quite Distrubing XD But It Wasn't Mindscarring... Anywho, Good Job, Gamesradar!
  • doomdoomdoom - July 11, 2009 1:06 a.m.

    wow mabye i should try making fake accounts for people so i can break there hearts like on soap opera or some cheap reality show... still haven't decided.
  • AnonymouZ - July 10, 2009 11:26 p.m.

    it's called NOOBness. People 40 and over are more likely to aquire this condition, and it takes weeks, sometimes months of experience and understanding that IT'S A FREAKING PORN/FAKE BOT! HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT SEE IT, (MUM,DAD,GRANDMA!)
  • michaelmcc827 - July 10, 2009 9:45 p.m.

    This article was great, just try for a second edition with more then just people from sports games maybe...
  • Cwf2008 - July 10, 2009 9:20 p.m.

    That was hilarious yet disturbing at the same time
  • speno93 - July 10, 2009 6:34 p.m.

    very ,very disturbing and creepy and gut bustingly hilarious. another brilliant and inventive article from Gamesradar, nicely done!
  • Savannah1994 - July 10, 2009 5:30 p.m.

    Hilarious!

Showing 1-20 of 57 comments

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