What would happen to gaming if someone switched off the internet?

You’re reading this on the internet right now. You probably play games on the internet, too, or at least download games, demos or additional content from the three dubyahs. Well, imagine they’re gone. No more web. Disconnected. Session expired. L'internet ne fonctionne pas.

Scary thought, isn’t it? Not least for me because it would mean I’d instantly be out of a job. Hmmmmm. But never mind me and my need for food and rent payment--imagine what effect ‘no internet’ would have on gaming. The repercussions are massive. Here’s how it would play out for the hours, days and months after 'The Day The World Was Unplugged', or ‘Day U’ as its survivors call it. So hug your router, tell it how much you care and then proceed through to the terrible event…

Opponent avatars stutter, glitch and freeze. CoD soldiers stand motionless, staring at the floor, shot to pieces by gamers who, for a brief second, think they’ve bagged an easy kill.

They haven't. There are no internet hands pulling the virtual strings so all the puppets have stopped dancing. It doesn't matter who you are, whether you're playing Call of Duty, Battlefield or Hello Kitty Island Adventure Online (ver 2.01), everyone is disconnected from their games and booted back to the lobby. Some later claim they can still see that message when they close their eyes. Forget the day the music died. This is the freakin' internet. And it's gone. Not that anyone would realise that straight away...

Several million people select www.twitter.com from their address bars and app lists, ready to complain to the world that the internet isn’t working. Trouble is, the internet isn’t working. So that means no Twitter either. There’s simply no telecommunication available anywhere.

A million mobile tweets are ‘saved to drafts’... and stay there forever.

With no change in the situation, many lone CoD fans take to the single-player campaign for their fix, some for the first time ever. Many exit in a huff because there’s ‘too much talking’ and they're not getting any reaction from Captain Price when they insult his moustache.

Worse still, those playing on consoles not their own are being booted by failed online checks. 'You’re not signed in'. 'Your license could not be verified'. 'Exiting game'. From now on, it's your own current-gen machine or nothing at all.

MMO gamers are starting to accept that their looped, compulsive reconnect attempts are not going to work any time soon. They begin to absorb the horror of the environment around them. Countless empty bottles of Mountain Dew and Doritos wrappers are sheepishly shoved into larger multipack Doritos/Mountain Dew wrappers as the Great Clean-up of Day U begins.

Asses are peeled from seats and bed sores examined. Withdrawal symptoms are kicking in. Shakes. Cold sweats. Some resort to clicking their left mouse buttons anyway, selecting things on the menu screens and back again. It’s relaxing. Like a comfort blanket. The more advanced users with fancy gaming keyboards set up macros that enable them to switch from the options screen to the credits screen with the press of a single button, which makes them feel better. For a few seconds.

The internet has not come back up. Nobody can communicate between towns unless they drive there, or take a train. Worse still, Achievements and Trophies can’t be synced with the servers. This is serious. Some concerned residents report seeing a man wearing a 'Mr Trophy' hat running screaming down the street. They are advised to stay indoors.

Headquarters of telecom companies are lobbied by increasingly large crowds. When no answers come, fighting breaks out. Some areas require police units. The police are communicating via walkie-talkies. Someone shouts “Hey--we can use their walkie-talkies to get online”, which the police refuse. An unwise policeman jokes 'take it to Pac-Man if you want to complain'. Rioting ensues.

Consoles can’t display any online content nor download new content, leaving gamers with whatever is on their hard drives or stored to backup discs. In one positive consequence of the internet going down, video game retailers see a huge surge in purchases of physical media, as single-player adventures and split-screen games are snapped up.

DVD sales increase, as do sales of music CDs. HMV thanks its lucky stars. Game publishers lose out as online passes for pre-owned games are completely useless. Microsoft thanks its lucky stars it had the wisdom to remove its always-online DRM before launch of Xbox One. This would have destroyed it.

People are lending each other games (and DVDs and CDs), or offering to come round to each other’s houses after school/work to play and watch things together. There's banter, laughter and cheering. Even some back-slapping. Friendships are formed and alliances made. It's beautiful.

However, insults that used to blight services like Xbox Live are now not so commonplace. Turns out insulting some dude's mother while he's in the same room as you isn't such a great idea, as many 12-year-olds discover when they wake up in hospital.

The police have arrested almost all of the game pirates, who are unable to peddle their wares through shady torrent sites and instead resort to local markets, where they’re sitting ducks for undercover cops.

Some pirates still offer hacked collections of games, mods and updates, but most people stay away from them. Antivirus systems haven’t been updated for a month so few people dare risk plugging anything new into their machines, in case the internet ever comes back and all their bank details are instantly uploaded to a criminal.

With the internet obviously never coming back (something to do with the field generated by a living being... I don't know tech stuff), publishers recognise the need to release their old digital catalogues on disc.

That means not only boxed versions of modern digital games, but that this author finally gets to purchase a physical copy of Daytona HD. It's a wonderful day for all concerned.

Activision and EA start making special cabinet versions of their games using top-spec PC components and renting them to organisers of LAN events. Most other publishers soon follow and gaming halls or 'arcades' start sprouting up around the world. Such is their popularity, there's a national shortage of 100 yen coins reported across Japan, although people later claim the shortage was just a myth.

Home gaming has changed a lot, with split-screen play and even family gaming now very much the norm, while the more hardcore gamers invest heavily in single-player games and retro classics. Nintendo starts selling Wii U consoles in vast numbers due to its canny use of social, asymmetrical gaming. Iwata is quoted by a source as saying 'I told you this would happen'. Some people suspect it was he that switched off the internet. It's never proven.

A year after the death of the internet, the world has turned into a gaming utopia. People are meeting up to discuss classic games, much like book clubs do. Game arcades are now seeing dedicated releases again, some of which later receive ports to home consoles. Everyone complains about how Call of Duty Arcade isn't arcade-perfect on Xbox One.

Magazines about games have seen a huge resurgence in popularity, covering cheats, previews, reviews and features. The best one? GamesRadar, of course!