What if life gave 1000 Achievement points?

You're never going to Platinum real life

Words: Hollander Cooper on January 18, 2013

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D0CCON - January 18, 2013 5:06 p.m.

I'm a college freshman at 311 (and I hope I don't get 1000, some of these would be nice to avoid). I'm behind with anything involving the opposite gender though (and don't plan on getting the one for same gender).
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bebl09 - January 18, 2013 5:24 p.m.

It wasn't necessarily 'same gender', it was 'experiment' ;) Could be drugs, nudism, whatever you like lol
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Clovin64 - January 18, 2013 4:57 p.m.

Almost 22 years young and I've got a proud score of 366G... time to get a girl pregnant in order to ratchet up my score. The other acheivements will just snowball into place after that. XD
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wonkotsane - January 18, 2013 4:53 p.m.

766. Unfortunately I had to pull a Homer and leave that dream job to support a growing family. Sigh.
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Hollander_Cooper - January 18, 2013 4:13 p.m.

691 for me--and I wrote the damn thing. I have a lot of divorcing to do.
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winner2 - January 18, 2013 4:08 p.m.

441, and a college freshman. I guess that's pretty good.
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Moondoggie1157 - January 18, 2013 3:51 p.m.

AGHHHHHHH seriously, there isn't much that sets me off but seeing that YOLO shit just irks me... Anyway, great article haha
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BladedFalcon - January 18, 2013 4:40 p.m.

To be fair, they use it sarcastically. It can be irksome though, yeah XD
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garnsr - January 19, 2013 7:37 p.m.

I'm looking forward to finding more YOLOs in the future.
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XanderGC - January 18, 2013 2:52 p.m.

351 - I've lived a sad, lame life. Guess I better play some more and earn some more achievements.
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J-Fid - January 18, 2013 2:26 p.m.

296. I guess I don't do much... But I did catch all the Pokemon!
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J-Fid - January 19, 2013 6:16 a.m.

One dream later, I am now at 301. I blame this article for my dream last night where I forgot to go to class (I overslept).
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TheReadMenace - January 18, 2013 2:15 p.m.

521G for me. 75G - "It looks like a mirac...It's in the hole!" I wonder how many people will get the reference in this day and age. I laughed, of course, but I'm old. "I was born to love you / I was born to lick your face / I was born to rub you / But you were born to rub me first." "So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, 'Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.' And he says, 'Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.' So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."
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KyoEarthDragon04 - January 18, 2013 2:08 p.m.

601, hmmm got all of retirement to do. and kids thing
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MetroidPrimeRib - January 18, 2013 2:05 p.m.

Why are there achievements for failing
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Ethanater4000 - January 18, 2013 2:13 p.m.

Because if you only got achievements for things you succeed in this would be a short list.
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MetroidPrimeRib - January 18, 2013 5:51 p.m.

Achievements imply success.
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Shadow Of Death - January 18, 2013 7:13 p.m.

Succeeding at failing, duh.
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pl4y4h - January 18, 2013 8:55 p.m.

Plenty of games have achievements for failing, why not bring that concept to this article?
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RedHarlow - January 18, 2013 2:02 p.m.

The first time I threw up from drinking I had eaten a giant chicken burrito from Chipotle not too long beforehand. Needless to say I have not eaten Chipotle since.
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